Parents as Therapeutic Partners by Arthur Kraft & Garry Landreth

Author:Arthur Kraft & Garry Landreth
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jason Aronson, Inc.
Published: 1998-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

We see several things in this session. First a change for the better in that Gloria was now sticking to one activity and concentrating on it. She was engaging in healthy four-year-old exploration and learning. Twenty minutes for sharpening crayons may be a little long, but not if it was the first time Gloria had really noticed all that happens when something is sharpened, the way a child carefully observes and absorbs what is seen.

Gloria’s concern about the dark had to do with fear, of course. But even though Rachel had been told this was Gloria’s central concern and it was that knowledge that had launched the growth that was taking place, Rachel did not realize how central it was and had overlooked it in this case. Her answer, that nobody was outside “because there are things to do inside this time of night,” had missed the point. It would be better to acknowledge and accept Gloria’s fear.

Wondering about the garbage could have been simple curiosity or it could have been Gloria’s fear that if garbage could disappear, she too could be taken and done away with.

There were hurdles but Rachel continued to progress. I tried to promote her loosening up (thinking now of “the rest of the week” rather than just the play session) by having her respond to Gloria’s feelings when she hurt herself. When Gloria threw herself around she went so far as to say, “Gee that was fun. Let’s try it again.” When Rachel described Gloria’s bump on the nose for the day as throwing Gloria into a “delightful panic,” I knew she was really detaching herself and no longer inadvertently aiding the hysteria.

At the final meeting of the series, Rachel said she was quite worried because her husband was about to go away on a business trip and she was dreading having to care for the children for three weeks without his support. I advised her to get up in the morning and thrash the children instantly and say—as in the old joke—“That’s for nothing. Make sure there’s never something.” She smiled and got the point: Act loose; act natural; do what feels right. She was of course expressing separation anxiety like the mother in Chapter 4, “Brain Damage,” doubly so since her husband was going to be away for awhile.

As we reviewed progress, each mother could easily see where her child was as compared with the others. Rachel knew that her child had much further to go. I pointed out that this was true, but then her child was coming from further behind, that is, had much more serious emotional problems initially. Unfortunately, I was about to relocate to another area or I would have invited Rachel to another series. The job obviously was not done. Much as I believe in short-term work, this was too short for the particular situation.

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