Out and Back by Diane Strong

Out and Back by Diane Strong

Author:Diane Strong
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: grief and loss, jennifer weiner, lolly winston, family kids, beach read, running, chick lit, good grief, diane strong, cancer mom


P.S. I am sorry I was such a spoiled little whiney brat on Christmas morning. Why didn’t you just put me up for adoption?

I remember the phone call to my mother when I found out I was pregnant with Chloe. She was worried about me finishing graduate school but she was also excited because now she could use the baby to get what she wanted. When Trent and I were living in Colorado with his father, we would stay with his Dad every-other Christmas. Trent hates Minnesota in winter, he hates the snow and the cold and being cooped up in a house filled with smoke.

“Well Amber, now you tell Trent that you HAVE to come home every Christmas so I can spend it with my grandbaby. No excuses and I mean it.”

“Okay Mom, I will.”

And I intended to spend every Christmas with her. I did spend every Christmas with her until last year. It just became so hard. Before having kids I was used to coming home, walking into her smoke filled house and not thinking anything of it. After all, I was a smoker before I got pregnant. She never knew that, but I was.

“Oh my god Amber! There are cigarettes in this drawer!”

“Yeah, I know. Gross huh?”

“Are there matches? Let’s have one!”

“Lisa, smoking is disgusting! I will never smoke! It kills you!”

“My cousin, she came to visit us last summer and she taught me how to smoke like a movie star. It is so grown-up.”

“You smoke?”

“Yeah! Duh, it’s so cool”

Lisa was one of my friends in sixth grade who was out of my league. Her family built a huge fancy house on a lake and she was really smart. I had never had a friend as smart as Lisa. All my friends were like me, they were in the slow reading group in elementary school, they lived in trailers, their parents were never home. Not Lisa, her Mom stayed at home, her Dad built houses and they didn’t smoke. Their house was clean and modern, it smelled like new carpet and fresh paint not like smoke and cat pee like mine did.

To this day I don’t know why Lisa wanted to be my friend. I invited her to spend the night during sixth-grade English one day and that night her Mom was calling mine. This had never happened. Usually the kid said okay and just got off the bus with me. Lisa’s Mom called to talk to my Mom. She asked a ton of questions and was very hesitant to allow Lisa to spend the night. She had allergies and we had cats. That was why we were sleeping in the camper instead of my house, to avoid cat dander.

I was so gobsmacked by the fact that Lisa had smoked, and since LAST summer no doubt, that I assumed rich fancy people must smoke. If they smoke, if smart clean people smoke, it must be okay. If Lisa smoked, there was no reason I shouldn’t. As a



Download



Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.