One Split Second by Gillian Crook

Author:Gillian Crook [Crook, Gillian]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781456788438
Publisher: Author Solutions Inc.
Published: 2012-01-13T05:00:00+00:00

Thursday 20th November

Why is it that first thing in the morning, I am so so sore, and today I was sweating, and I had some really disturbing dreams last night… I think I was exhausted yesterday and spent too long on the prone trolley, because even my hands are really hurting and even though I have put plenty moisture on them, I still cannot clench a fist and straighten my hand out properly. I’ll ask John the physio when I see him this morning… I am going into the cage ‘for my sins’, and then the trolley in the afternoon. Actually, I am waiting for a card and a letter with £20 in it from mum, but it hasn’t arrived yet!

After my shower I went through to the gym, and Dr Dunne came in, and the reason I give him his proper name is for when it is for something more serious I’m talking about. Anyway, him and John asked me if they could talk to me in private—and that’s a bit of a challenge considering I can’t fit the bed into any of the offices, so they said that they would get me wheeled into the conference room that is just around the corner… I knew this was going to be something bad, otherwise, why couldn’t they just speak to me in the gym? Well, they wasted no time, and it was Dr Dunne that started to talk, actually with some sincerity in his voice for a change, and told me that, they now had all the results back from the various departments regarding my injuries, and that they knew I was hoping that I may be able to walk given a bit of time and lots of physio… Well, himself and John Hunter, had looked thoroughly through my notes, and my injury is COMPLETE T7, meaning ALL the nerves have been severed from the spinal cord, and it is a complete break, and I am palaysed from the top of my ribs down, and my abdominal muscles no longer work! He tried to apologise, sincerely, but to someone who has done it that often, it was just another day at the office for him, and with that handed me the file!!! NO! NO! NO! FUCK NO!

I asked them just how certain they were, and they said it was 100% certain. You know, I’m not even really distressed apart from the immediate denial; but I was just HOPING, hoping for what… a miracle? I suppose I sort of knew, but… It’s just the horrible realism of being told for certain. God, help!

I desperately asked; was there any chance I could walk, could any feeling at all come back, would I lose any more feeling anywhere else, would exercise help me to get some feeling at all, would I not be able to get some kind of operation, please, pretty fuckin please, is there nothing they could do… . ? They asked me if I wanted to use the phone

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