No Shame by Lea Lis

Author:Lea Lis [Lis, Lea]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: Lea Lis
Published: 2020-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

Hookups! Etiquette! Anal! Address the awkward

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So those are ways you can help your kid stay out of sex when they aren’t ready. But when your teen starts to have sex, I’m here to tell you that it’s totally appropriate to acknowledge the topics your parents never acknowledged with you—things like hookup culture, sexual etiquette, sex in the home, and anal sexually transmitted infections. Here are my thoughts on these.

Hookup culture is a thing, and you need to address it

Humans have evolved to feel intense love in intimate relationships, which develop through repeated episodes of sexual intercourse. Yet in my work with adolescents and college coeds, I have seen firsthand how young people are disconnecting from the intimate and sensitive feelings they have while having sex by getting drunk, thereby numbing the emotions that might engender feelings of love and connection. They are overriding that natural attachment impulse through the use of alcohol or by subscribing to the repeated cultural messaging that says it’s better not to get attached. That “friends with benefits” messaging creates a sexual climate where young people are having less-frequent sex with more partners… which is often less fulfilling. So many articles are being written now that reinforce all of this. There’s even a trend where young men are encouraged to hook up drunk, and then not to see those women or have sex with them sober. It also seems, from my own work with teens, that many college women are allowing men to dictate how the relationship will proceed.

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