NLD from the Inside Out by Michael Brian Murphy

Author:Michael Brian Murphy
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784502133
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2016-05-26T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

Talking to Parents about NLD

It is crucial for parents and teachers to know exactly what is wrong, and more often, what is right, with their child or student. It is even more crucial for the NLD student to know exactly what is “wrong” and “right” with him or herself.

Having NLD affects not only the individual, but the whole family as well. A teen with NLD who is angry or confused can upset the whole family dynamic, whereas one who is calm and happy can affect the family for the better.

One way to keep the peace is to make sure that the household runs smoothly, in an orderly fashion, and with as little disruption as possible. Some of the ways we have found that work well follow.

Tell your teen exactly what his or her household responsibilities and chores are, when he or she needs to do them, and critically important—what constitutes a good job!

I’m very literal, and logical… I need a lot of things explained to me very, very, very explicitly… I think that kind of annoys some of the people I live with… There have been many times while I was growing up, if my mom said to me “do the dishes,” I do just that: I empty the dishwasher, load it again, and leave. And she might get upset with me, because it was “ever-so-obvious” that I had to not only empty and load it, but also clean out the sink and clean up the counters, and then rinse out the sponge. As if that were somehow implied.

We find it really, really helps to have a printed list posted somewhere where your teen can see it.

If it’s not written down, it’s not gonna happen!

Post a written meal plan for the week on the refrigerator. This helps in two ways: one, if your teen knows what is planned for dinner, he or she is less likely to snack on one of the main dinner ingredients. And two, if your teen is responsible for doing some of the meal preparation and cooking for the family, he or she then knows exactly what’s for dinner, without having to plan it.

Cooking is easy and fun—but deciding what to make for dinner is just about impossible!

Household rules concerning things like homework time and bedtime, limits on TV, radio, video games, internet, and cell phone use, etc. should be discussed, explained logically, and probably written down somewhere.

Teens should be included in family discussions, and where appropriate, their opinions should be taken into consideration in major family decisions.

By the time we are in high school, we should get to help decide where we go on our summer vacation. I am so tired of my parents treating me like a baby and saying, “We’re going to the beach again,” when my best friend’s family lives in our old hometown and I really would much rather spend some time with him.

It was really horrible when my collie Sheila broke her leg. My parents wanted to take her to the vet to put her down, but I wanted the vet to try to do surgery first.

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