New Naked : The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-ups (9781402293382) by Fisch Harry; Moline Karen

Author:Fisch, Harry; Moline, Karen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks Inc
Published: 2014-04-14T16:00:00+00:00

Sure, sex is great. It’s wonderful. If done right with the right person, it makes you feel better than you’ve ever felt before. But sex is risky, no matter who you are.

Any time you take your clothes off with another person, it’s risky behavior. Even if it’s the person you married and have been having sex with for twenty years. So I’m going to tackle the tough stuff that comes along with risks—pornography, affairs, and sexual addiction.

You know by now that some of the best things in life come to those who take risks—going far from home to college, perhaps, or accepting a job in a start-up company; falling in love or raising children—but those are the good kind of risks. The kind that you’re willing to take because you’ve thought them through, and you’re willing to accept the consequences of whatever might happen, good or bad.

Sex, on the other hand, isn’t about thinking it through. It’s about living in the moment. And while that can be a mind-blowing, amazing moment, it can also become a very dangerous moment very quickly.

That’s because once you start having sex, you are focused on only one thing. Having sex. Your normal, rational, smart, and responsible brain function stops. Your inhibitions disappear. All the precautions you’d normally take—like the condoms in the drawer next to your bed so you can be assured of safe sex—are forgotten. Can’t get to those condoms in time? Oh, don’t worry; you don’t need them. Not when it feels so good and so right and you…just…can’t…stop! Why, it’s impossible to stop.

Nothing will happen, right?

Sure it won’t. Repercussions only happen to other people, right? Until they happen to you.

That’s why about 50 percent of all pregnancies in this country are unintentional. Talk about life changing. Talk about scary.

And they aren’t the only thing that’s scary or risky. There are STDs. There are betrayals. There are ruined marriages and devastated children. There are lost jobs and ruined reputations when employees get caught downloading or watching porn at work. And there are public humiliations when cheating or sexting is exposed.

That said, sex doesn’t have to be as risky as it is when you throw all caution to the wind with yourselves on the bed. Once you know that your brain is going to check out when you need it the most, you can train it to outwit your libido and still have lots of great sex. You can prepare.

All you have to do is think of sex as a sport, like tennis or football, and think of yourself as an athlete in training.

After all, how do professional athletes train? They put in countless hours of practice, not just to make their muscles strong but to create what’s called “muscle memory.” When your muscle memory is honed, you know it’s there. You can call on it without thinking. That’s why even the world’s best ballet dancers go to class every day. They’re repeating the basic steps they’ve done literally millions of times already, but they’re perpetuating good habits.

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