My Life As A Pornstar by Puma Swede

Author:Puma Swede [Swede, Puma]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: porn star. celebrity, puma swede
Publisher: Swede-Ekholm
Published: 2013-10-02T22:00:00+00:00

Like I said, it’s not easy keeping Puma under control. But there were a few times when Puma actually took on the role of the responsible one. Well, one time at least.

We were on our way to a sex convention in Germany. The itinerary included a six-hour layover in Amsterdam. Since I’d never been there, I demanded that we check it out.

“We’ve got to go into the city! I want to see the Red Light District with the girls in the windows and smoke legal weed.”

So Puma, who definitely knows her way around Europe, took us to a cafe with space cakes on the menu.

“Two cappuccinos and two space cakes, please.”

Fucking amazing! We took pictures of everything like two stupid tourists, stuffed our faces with the marijuana-filled muffins and waited for something to happen. But nothing happened. After half an hour, we went to the next coffee shop to try to find some shit to smoke instead.

Puma stepped up to the counter and smiled:

“Hey, we’re new at this. Can we get two beginner’s joints, please?”

The waitress gave us two spliffs filled half with tobacco, half with weed. We smoked, and suddenly the cake and the joint hit with full force at the same time.

I completely freaked out. My head was spinning. I had to hold tight to the arms of my chair to keep from falling into a heap on the floor.

“Oh my god, everyone knows I’m high,” I whimpered, trying to focus my vision on Puma, who was floating somewhere out there in the fog.

“Nikki, everyone in this place is high,” Puma explained kindly before cracking up.

I don’t have any clear memories of how we got back to the airport. All I know is that Puma dragged me — thank God for those Finnish biceps – through the streets of Amsterdam. Then we had a hysterical laughing attack on the train and panicked about passing through security.

Without Puma, I don’t think I would have made it out of Amsterdam to this day.

But there is actually a disadvantage to our close friendship, and I know our fans are deeply disappointed about it: it’s almost impossible for us to work together. That would almost be like incest.

The last time we filmed together, we practically raped Tommy Gunn, and he’s a veteran.

We had fun as usual, Puma and I. It was awesome working alongside Puma with photographer Suze Randall. She’s been in the porn business for thirty-five years and knows every single star on the scene.

So yeah, you might say that Puma and I were pretty damn excited. Hysterical, almost. While we were getting ready, we warned Tommy that we were going to eat him alive if he wasn’t careful. We also threw in a few jokes about his cock. He responded with what was supposed to be a confident laugh, but I think he knew he was up for a challenge. Puma and I started the scene with a little lesbian action in an outdoor bed. It went well, and it turned out to be some pretty cool shit.

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