Men Chase, Women Choose: The Neuroscience of Meeting, Dating, Losing Your Mind, and Finding True Love by Dawn Maslar

Author:Dawn Maslar [Maslar, Dawn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: dating, finding, choose, losing your mind, true, chase, love, women, men, meeting, Neuroscience
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
Published: 2016-10-18T07:00:00+00:00

WINNING THE PRIZE

Although Fein and Schneider didn’t understand the science behind the rules given in their book, it’s interesting that they chose “Be a Creature Unlike Any Other” for Rule No. 1. Wolfram Schultz, professor of neuroscience at the University of Cambridge, has found that novelty enhances dopamine response. Remember, dating is all about the reward pathway.

An unpredicted reward, particularly one that’s better than expected, induces dopamine even more.133 In fact, Schultz believes it can induce three to four times more dopamine, and that might even be a conservative estimate.134 Therefore, if you’re unique in a fun and exciting way, you will cause him to get a nice dopamine boost. Dopamine is important for helping to get past some of the reservations that naturally occur during the early stages of attraction and dating.

In order to keep the dopamine flowing, a man must believe that the ultimate prize is worth the risk. To test the association between dopamine and risk/reward, scientists in London conducted a unique study. Participants were divided into three groups. One group was given levodopa, a drug that increases dopamine levels in the brain. Another took haloperidol, a dopamine receptor blocker. The third was given a placebo. Researchers showed each group symbols associated with winning or losing different amounts of money. To “win” more money, participants had to learn which symbols resulted in which outcomes through trial and error.

The study found that those who took levodopa were 95 percent more likely to choose symbols associated with higher monetary gains than those who took haloperidol (the dopamine blocker). As a result, the levodopa group won more money, but it also lost more money. “The results show dopamine drives us to get what we want, but not to avoid what we fear,” said the author of the study, Mathias Pessiglione.135 In other words, when dopamine is surging through our veins, we become more motivated to take greater risks. Not only does the desire for the reward increase, our fear of loss decreases. Although the group with the higher amounts of dopamine experienced more rewards, they were also disappointed more often, thus not necessarily making out any better than the more cautious group. When we are “doped-up” on dopamine, we are willing to take greater and greater chances for what we perceive as larger prizes. Our brains tell us we can’t lose.

The greater the prize, the greater the dopamine and the greater the risk we’re willing to take. Conversely, if you have doubts about the value of the prize, you produce less dopamine and are less likely to take a risk. That’s why I call a Date: Designating A Time to Evaluate. Each person must decide for him or herself if the reward is worth the risks.

Therefore, for Jennifer to be perceived as the amazing prize she is, she needs to let the man take a few risks to win her. These incremental risks and slow buildup of dopamine are critical for him to fall in love. And when he feels like he won during each task, it gives him that needed boost of testosterone.

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