Mama Gena's Owner's and Operator's Guide to Men by Regena Thomashauer

Author:Regena Thomashauer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2003-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Sister Goddess Hannah’s husband, Mike, got a job in Baltimore, three hours away from the small town outside of Philadelphia where they had been living for the past fifteen years. Hannah arranged to fix up the house in order to sell it. She found a house she loved in Baltimore, and on the very day they were to sign the papers to sell the house in Philadelphia, Mike freaked out. He could not bring himself to sign. He was so upset. Instead of hanging tight to her dream of a new life in a new town, close to her husband’s job, Hannah folded. She canceled the sale and stopped the purchase of her dream house. Here it is, six months later, and Hannah is basically a single parent as her husband drives three hours to and from work, leaving her to help with homework, make dinner, clean up, bathe and put four kids to bed each night, all without any help. Sometimes he stays over in Baltimore, leaving her with even more to handle. If she had held out for what she really wanted, despite his kicking and screaming, it would be a much more pleasurable life for both of them.

Saying the truth will make you sweat, then it will set you free. In the beginning of this experiment, it feels almost torturous to expose a desire. And then, if your guy declines, it feels almost un-endurable, as if you will crumple up and blow away like an old newspaper. What you have to remember is that you are learning a new skill set. You are unlocking desires that have been in the vault for centuries and appreciating the alien enemy. Think Arabs and Jews here for a minute. Think Muslims and Hindus. It’s a centuries-old war, and I am asking you to offer the olive branch.

There is nothing more powerful than exposing a desire, and nothing that will make you feel more vulnerable. When I was first dating Bruce, I didn’t like the way he kissed me. He kissed me strongly and with a lot of tongue, the way that his last girlfriend liked it. But I had another way that I liked—very soft, gentle, with a lot of breath and lightly touching lips and cheeks, then slightly open mouth and light tongue, then slowly deeper. I remember the moment when I was exposing my desire to Bruce about the way I wanted to be kissed—I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I was sweating, felt nauseous, and could barely explain. I felt like he would be insulted or offended, and who was I to think my way was better, and why would he want to kiss me my way? Surprisingly to me, he was cool. He asked me to show him what I meant. I told him to remain still, and I would take him on a tour of my kind of kiss. Sweaty butterflies and all, I slowly kissed him. And I still remember every detail of that kiss.

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