Making Great Relationships: Simple Practices for Solving Conflicts, Building Connection, and Fostering Love by Rick Hanson PhD

Author:Rick Hanson, PhD [Hanson, Rick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2023-01-17T00:00:00+00:00

Slow It Down

When triggers land, try to slow down before you say or do anything you’ll regret later. In your brain, incoming information—perhaps a car cutting you off on the highway or a dismissive word from your partner—is processed along two tracks (to summarize complex processes). The first track runs quickly through subcortical regions, such as the amygdala, which can launch the neurohormonal stress response in less than a second. Now your heart is beating faster, adrenaline and cortisol are starting to surge through your bloodstream, and feelings of fear and anger are boiling up in your mind. Along the second track, your prefrontal regions are beginning to come online to figure out what happened, how big a deal it is, and what to do about it. The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is a fantastic piece of biological equipment, but it’s slow compared to the subcortex, which has a head start in driving your impulses. When you pause for even a few seconds to gather yourself, your PFC can catch up and bring in a sense of the big picture, your long-term interests, the needs of others, different options, and a step-by-step action plan.

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