Magic and Mayhem by Renee George

Author:Renee George [George, Renee]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kindle Worlds
Published: 2017-10-23T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Six

“The statue is missing!” Bob, the stout man we’d met on the town square the night before, shouted. “It’s gone!” His thick round face was red in color and beaded with sweat. He was followed by Roger the therapist, and the four chipmunks, who were in their chipmunk bodies, and the three talking cats.

“Oh, dear,” Wanda said.

Kurt had a more colorful vocabulary. “This shit shouldn’t be fucking happening.”

I think the stress of being temporary king was getting to him. “The bear with the missing face?”

“Yes,” Roger exclaimed. “That one. What are we going to do? I need my nads.” Absently, he put his hands over his groin.

I’d seen the statue in my vision, which meant, I could probably see it again but did I really want to get involved? Kurt and Wanda’s worried expressions made my mind up for me. “I’m a psychic,” I said.

Fat Bastard, Jango Fett, and Boba Fett laughed and pointed fingers at me.

“Sure, sweetheart,” Fat Bastard said. “And I’m Frank Sinatra.”

“Does anyone have the number for the pound?”

Jango Fett snickered. “Your parents did a lot of drugs, didn’t they...Ambrosia Sunshine.” He drew out my name like it was a revelation. However, he wasn’t wrong.

I shrugged. My parents lived like hippies, including all the psychedelics and such.

Chavvah, who’d outed my name to the town the night before, postured, her hackles raising up on her ginormous neck. She growled. “Cool it, tabbies.”

“We’re not afraid of you, sweet cheeks,” Fat Bastard said. “When your witch is the next in line to be the leader of all the witches, you don’t have to be scared of nothin’. She’ll fry your ass once we tell her you threatened us.”

“It’s hard to tell on someone when you don’t have a head,” Chav countered.

This was escalating quickly. “Ooookay. Let’s all take a breath here. Chav, I can defend myself. I don’t need you eating everyone who laughs at me. Hell, you’d have to eat ninety percent of the people we know, and if you did that, you’d never be able to fit into that beautiful wedding dress we bought over in Lake Ozarks.” I wrinkled my brow. “Hey, how come I can remember Lake Ozarks, but I can’t remember...nope, still can’t remember. Son of a biscuit eater.”

“Such a mouth.” Jango Fett snorted. “So tough.”

“I can cuss like a sailor, fur-face, but I’m a momma now, and I’m trying to be better for my kids.” My eyes welled with tears as the cherub faces of Jude and Dawn popped into my head. I had to find a way to get back to my family. I had to find a way for all of us. “Look. I know you all are afraid of this Zelda woman, so you might as well let me help. I’m either who I say I am, a psychic, and in that case, you might get a lead on your missing mutilated bear. Or,” I said, “I’m a lunatic, but either way, you have nothing to lose.”

“Except their nuts,” Willy said.

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