Loving What Is by Byron Katie

Author:Byron Katie
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony
Published: 2002-05-07T04:00:00+00:00

Would you rather be right

or free?

7.

Doing The Work on Self-Judgments

One year, for his birthday, I bought my grandson Race a plastic Darth Vader toy because he had asked for it. He had just turned three; he didn’t have a clue about Star Wars, even though he wanted the Darth Vader toy. When you put a coin into Darth Vader, you hear the Star Wars music and Darth Vader’s heavy breathing. Then his voice says, “Impressive, but you are not a Jedi yet,” and he lifts his sword as if to emphasize the point. After Racey heard the voice, he said, “Grandma, I not a Jedi,” and shook his little head. I said, “Honey, you can be Grandma’s little Jedi.” And he said, “I not,” and shook his head again.

A week or so after I gave him the toy, I called him on the phone and asked him, “Sweetheart, are you a Jedi yet? Are you Grandma’s little Jedi?” And he said, in a sad little voice, “I not.” He didn’t even know what a Jedi was, he wasn’t even asking, and yet he wanted to be one. So the little guy was taking orders from a plastic toy and was walking around disappointed at the ripe old age of three.

Shortly after this, I was invited by a friend to fly over the desert in his plane. I told my friend about the Jedi thing and asked if Racey could come with us. He said yes, smiling over an idea he had. He made arrangements with the ground crew, and as we landed, we heard a voice over the cabin speakers announcing, “Racey, you are a Jedi! You are a Jedi now!” Racey rolled his little eyes in disbelief. I asked him if he was a Jedi yet. He wouldn’t answer me. When we got home, he ran straight to Darth Vader. He dropped in his coin, the music began, with the heavy breathing, the sword rose, and the deep voice said, “Impressive, but you are not a Jedi yet.” That seemed to be the way of it. I asked him one more time, and he told me, “Grandma, I not.”

Many of us judge ourselves as relentlessly as that plastic toy played its recording, telling ourselves over and over what we are and what we’re not. Once investigated, these self-judgments simply melt away. If you’ve been following the instructions and have done The Work by pointing the finger of blame outward, you will have noticed that your judgments of others always turn back toward you. When those turned-around judgments feel uncomfortable, you can be sure that you’ve hit a belief about yourself that you haven’t investigated yet. For example, “He should love me” turns around to “I should love myself,” and if you experience stress with that thought, you may want to take a look at it.

As you become fluid with the four questions and the turnarounds, you’ll begin to discover for yourself that The Work is equally powerful when the one you’re judging is yourself.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.