Loving Someone in Recovery by Beverly Berg

Author:Beverly Berg
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781608829002
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2013-12-10T05:00:00+00:00

Dry Syndrome

Traditionally, “dry drunk” refers to the alcoholic who has stopped drinking but hasn’t made any lifestyle changes and who continues to act in the same ways as when he or she was drinking. We now know the same syndrome can express itself in anyone who abstains from any addiction. For this reason, I prefer to call it simply dry syndrome. If this is happening to your partner, you can expect his or her moods to be awful. Your partner will be miserable and overly reactive and, well, just not a happy camper.

Similarly, what I call dry codependent syndrome occurs when codependents continue to act and live in the same way they did before their partner got into recovery. They are still watching their recovering partner’s life, rather than working on their own. They stay irritated and anxious. Let’s take a closer look at how dry codependent syndrome expresses itself, and what you can do to get out of it.

Try This: Are You Experiencing Dry Codependent Syndrome?

To determine if you are suffering from dry codependent syndrome, read the following statements and check all that apply.

You experience abrupt shifts from depression to anxious agitation.

You lack the ability to express your feelings and emotions openly without causing alienation in the partnership.

You feel no gratitude for your life.

You feel bitter and pessimistic.

You don’t care anymore whether your partner stays on a recovering track.

You feel alienated and alone in the world.

You lack a practice of introspection, contemplative solitude, or service to others.

You actively avoid emotional connection or attachment with friends.

You struggle with extreme moodiness and agitation.

You feel seething resentment toward your partner, regardless of how nice he or she is toward you.

You feel easily infuriated toward your partner.

You want to isolate yourself for long periods of time, rather than connect with your partner.

You feel chaotic, erratic, and scared much of the time.

You feel out of touch with the purpose of your life.

Everything and everyone seems stupid and insensitive.

You feel lonely, even when you’re with friends.

Nothing is enough to fill the hole in your gut.

Wherever you are, you wish you were somewhere else.

You feel burdened by having to reach out to others.

You feel obsessed with how your partner is working his or her program of recovery, and you can’t give him or her some needed space.

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