Love Secrets Revealed by Allen Berger

Author:Allen Berger
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Health Communications Inc

The Cure for the Mind-Reading Act

The best cure for this dynamic is to immediately deal with every mind-reading act by confronting your partner with comments such as, “You’re talking for me, and I feel disconnected from you. I don’t like to be disconnected from you. I want to tell you what I want and what I like. If you imagine you know what I want, please check out your hunches with me.” You must do this every time your partner attempts to read your mind, regardless of whether he or she is right. Remember to change your approach if it does not work, and you need to change your approach as many times as it takes to get the results you want.

For example, if your partner anticipates one of your needs, you can say something like, “I appreciate you being concerned about my needs, but I’d be able to appreciate your thoughtfulness even more if you would take the time and ask me what I’d like.”

The principle that should guide you in this type of a confrontation is to compliment the positive intention in your partner’s behavior, then discourage the mind reading, and finally ask for what you want. This kind of a confrontation honors your partner’s dignity and informs your partner about your personal preferences, making it much easier for him or her to respond to your desires.

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