Love Among the Chickens a Story of the Haps and Mishaps on an English Chicken Farm by P G Wodehouse
Author:P G Wodehouse [Wodehouse, P G]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Classics, Fiction
ISBN: 9782819902133
Google: Zohll0xuMv4C
Publisher: pubOne info LLC
Published: 2010-09-15T04:00:00+00:00
CHAPTER XIV
A COUNCIL OF WAR
âThe fact is,â said Ukridge, âif things go on as they are now, my lad, we shall be in the cart. This business wants bucking up. We donât seem to be making headway. Why it is, I donât know, but we are not making headway. Of course, what we want is time. If only these scoundrels of tradesmen would leave us alone for a spell we could get things going properly. But weâre hampered and rattled and worried all the time. Arenât we, Millie?â
âYes, dear.â
âYou donât let me see the financial side of the thing enough,â I complained. âWhy donât you keep me thoroughly posted? I didnât know we were in such a bad way. The fowls look fit enough, and Edwin hasnât had one for a week.â
âEdwin knows as well as possible when heâs done wrong, Mr. Garnet,â said Mrs. Ukridge. âHe was so sorry after he had killed those other two.â
âYes,â said Ukridge, âI saw to that.â
âAs far as I can see,â I continued, âweâre going strong. Chicken for breakfast, lunch, and dinner is a shade monotonous, perhaps, but look at the business weâre doing. We sold a whole heap of eggs last week.â
âBut not enough, Garny old man. We arenât making our presence felt. England isnât ringing with our name. We sell a dozen eggs where we ought to be selling them by the hundred, carting them off in trucks for the London market and congesting the traffic. Harrodâs and Whiteleyâs and the rest of them are beginning to get on their hind legs and talk. Thatâs what theyâre doing. Devilish unpleasant theyâre making themselves. You see, laddie, thereâs no denying itâwe did touch them for the deuce of a lot of things on account, and they agreed to take it out in eggs. All theyâve done so far is to take it out in apologetic letters from Millie. Now, I donât suppose thereâs a woman alive who can write a better apologetic letter than her nibs, but, if youâre broad-minded and can face facts, you canât help seeing that the juiciest apologetic letter is not an egg. I meant to say, look at it from their point of view. Harrodâor Whiteleyâcomes into his store in the morning, rubbing his hands expectantly. âWell,â he says, âhow many eggs from Combe Regis to-day?â And instead of leading him off to a corner piled up with bursting crates, they show him a four-page letter telling him itâll all come right in the future. Iâve never run a store myself, but I should think that would jar a chap. Anyhow, the blighters seem to be getting tired of waiting.â
âThe last letter from Harrodâs was quite pathetic,â said Mrs. Ukridge sadly.
I had a vision of an eggless London. I seemed to see homes rendered desolate and lives embittered by the slump, and millionaires bidding against one another for the few rare specimens which Ukridge had actually managed to despatch to Brompton and Bayswater.
Ukridge, having induced himself to
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