Life Is a Joke by Gordon & John Javna

Author:Gordon & John Javna
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
Published: 2017-12-12T05:00:00+00:00

Don’t Ask

“God may forgive sins . . . but awkwardness has no forgiveness in heaven or earth.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a rocking chair on his porch. “Excuse me,” she says. “You look so happy. If you don’t mind my asking, what’s your secret for a long and happy life?”

“Well,” the man replies, “every day I smoke two packs of cigarettes, drink a pint of whiskey, eat a dozen doughnuts and a bag of potato chips, and I never exercise.”

“Wow! That’s incredible,” she says. “Exactly how old are you?”

“Twenty-six.”

Life Lesson

Who hasn’t asked an embarrassing question based on someone’s appearance? Curious or careless, we forget we’re dealing with people’s feelings and casually inquire, “When is the baby due?”—and it turns out the woman’s not pregnant. Or we ask a person who’s struggling financially why they don’t “just buy” something they need. At that point we aren’t just embarrassing ourselves—we’re being unintentionally cruel, and it can cause deep emotional pain.

Before you blurt out a personal question, consider its impact. Remind yourself that genuinely connecting with someone starts with showing respect for their feelings. Or just keep it simple: Make it a rule to avoid potentially embarrassing questions about potentially sensitive issues altogether. It can save you (and others) a lot of distress.

Beyond the Punch Line

Here’s a list of ten sensitive questions you probably shouldn’t ask. Just consider how you’d feel if someone asked them of you.

1. “Are you pregnant?”

2. “How much money do you make?”

3. “When are you having kids?”

4. “How much do you weigh?” (Or worse: “Have you gained weight?”)

5. “What are you?”

6. “Is something wrong with your health?”

7. “Are you two planning to get married?”

8. “Why can’t you afford that?”

9. “Still single?”

10. “What’s that?” (pointing to scar or body marker)

If you do put your foot in your mouth with one of these questions, here are two ways to deal with it:

1. A sincere apology. The good news is that because practically everyone’s done this at some time, the person will probably understand. And sincerity is a great balm for almost everything.

2. If that’s not possible, try using a third party—someone you both trust—to approach them with your message. Again, the person is likely to appreciate that you’re making the effort. Ask your mutual friend to offer your contact info so you can smooth things over.

—50—

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