Life After Work by Infinite Ideas

Author:Infinite Ideas [Infinite Ideas]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Infinite Ideas Ltd
Published: 2012-02-27T00:00:00+00:00

Defining idea

‘Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.’

Benjamin Franklin

11. Kids’ stuff

Are your children still on your hands? Or are you on theirs? This one’s about how to manage the changing relationship between you and your offspring once retirement is reality. Oh, you don’t think it’ll change? Just wait and see!

It’s important to get that relationship with your kids right when you retire, or you’ll end up feeling resentful in one of three different ways. What do I mean?

Sick of shelling out

You’re retiring early, or you delayed having children until relatively late in life, and you’re facing a couple of major issues. First and foremost, obviously, there’s the cost involved in keeping them fed, clothed, educated and entertained. Not so much of a problem if you’ve got a hefty private income, but a bit of an issue otherwise.

Young adults are hideously expensive – and it’s not just that they eat a lot. Their tastes are dictated by their peer group, and those tastes are about as ephemeral as Scotch mist. Worse – I know quite a few who’ve jollied off to college and, without a second thought, blithely announced after the end of year one that they’ve failed their first-year exams and, anyway, they hate their chosen subject so they’re going to start all over again.

Boy, will you resent them. If you’re not careful you’ll get to the point where you keep a mental tally of the cost of every half-drunk glass of Coke they leave on their bedroom floor. It’s no good being optimistic about it, you’ve got to talk to them honestly about your drop in income. If you’ve always indulged your children it’s going to be hard, but remember we don’t do our children any favours by teaching them to be extravagant. It’s much kinder to explain the realities of life. Explain how much income you have, talk them through how much it’s costing to run the home, and come to a sensible compromise on how much allowance they’ll get.

Then there’s all that free time you’ve got now. Have a think about whether to put some boundaries around your chauffeuring duties. You can hear the hints already, can’t you? Now that you’ve got all that free time, what’s to stop you picking them up at two in the morning? Or, for that matter, why shouldn’t they expect you to cook their meals, clean their room and wash their clothes? If you don’t want to be taken for granted, best to sort it out now.

Hating feeling a burden

Your children might be off your hands and, if you’re lucky, they’ll be independent, responsible, caring and charming. Make sure your kids realise you’re still the free spirit you always were and that you’re intending to have a ball until the far distant day, perhaps, when you reach a point where your children have a genuine right to worry about you. Let them know that you’ll appreciate their concern when you’re ill

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