Just Let 'Em Play by Andrew Jacobs & Jeff Montgomery & Peter D. Malone & Matt Fulks

Author:Andrew Jacobs & Jeff Montgomery & Peter D. Malone & Matt Fulks
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ascend Books

A POSSIBLE EXCEPTION TO “NO QUITTING”: VERBAL ABUSE

These days, the stories of coaches verbally abusing players are way too common – verbal abuse is anything condescending, hostile, negative, degrading, derogatory, or generally insulting. Because such abuse has become more prevalent, the standard for coaches is constantly changing. Years ago, coaches would say more than they do today; that may be true, but it doesn’t mean it’s okay to cut down a player for making a mistake or calling an athlete names because he or she isn’t the best on the team. Every league or school should have their own training session for coaches. They need to set what’s approved and not approved. Unfortunately, that is not yet the case.

After hearing your child’s accusations, it’s your parental responsibility to talk with the coach and address the issue in a civilized manner. Common sense has to come into play. Don’t be accusatory. Don’t attack the coach. The coach is less likely to put up a wall if you say, “I need to share something with you that I heard that’s bothering me.”

Doc’s Diagnosis

I worked with a 6-foot, 11-inch college basketball center, who grew up in New York in a single-parent home. His mom stressed to him that cursing was wrong. His college coach cursed all the time. The young man wasn’t playing well, so he and I talked about what was going on – he mentioned the cursing. I knew the coach really well, so I suggested to this athlete that he talk with the coach about it. Tell him what was bothering him. He ended up telling the coach something like this, “My mom raised me that cursing was wrong, and you curse all the time. It’s really bothering me.” The coach, who’s generally well-liked by his players, said, “Son, I’m not going to stop cursing because that’s who I am. But I will never curse directly at you again. I may curse at the team, but not at you.” The coach held true to his word and the player’s confidence skyrocketed as did his faith, trust, and respect for the coach.

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