Invisible by Jennifer Rothschild

Author:Jennifer Rothschild
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780736965743
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers, Inc.

When life doesn’t turn out like I hope,

I won’t turn away.

I will turn to God

#TheInvisibleBook

9

Idolotrinkets

Now they sin more and more; they make idols for themselves from their silver, cleverly fashioned images, all of them the work of craftsmen.

HOSEA 13:2

Popcorn was embossed across the creamy white surface of the bowl brimming with fluffy, buttery, fragrant, freshly popped kernels. It was 9:00 p.m. and I stood beside the counter, one hand buried in the popcorn bowl. Next to the popcorn was a bag—not a tiny bag, but a two-pound bag—of dark chocolate M&M’s. While one hand mined for the perfect fistful of buttery popcorn, the other rifled through the M&M’s bag. As I stood there in my PJ’s, shoving popcorn and dark chocolate into my mouth, I had a Gomer moment.

I knew I was a Gomer girl. I was dearly loved, accepted, complete, and—unfortunately—prone to wander. But to be honest, besides my identity crisis that I discovered at my lakeside getaway, I couldn’t put my finger on any other area where I thought I was overly Gomeristic. And then I swallowed a big gulp of reality while standing in my PJ’s in the kitchen that night.

I realized I was in a place I didn’t want to be—even though it was a completely comfortable, enjoyable place! (I mean, really! Comfort food and PJ’s—what could be wrong with that?) But this wasn’t about pampering myself. This was about me crossing a line in my relationship with food. I knew something was off, but I just kept ignoring, justifying, and telling myself I would deal with the issue later. Over the years I’d been careful about my health, staying active and watching what I ate. But the older I got, the more nature was doing things to my body that exercise wasn’t undoing. I tried to eat less, but I still gained weight!

So at some point—I’m not exactly sure when it was—I just gave up. Who cares, I told myself. I like food! I began to eat bigger portions. I indulged in those carbs I’d grown tired of limiting. I super-sized French fries—a treat I hadn’t eaten in years. And dark chocolate? Well, girl, there aren’t enough pages in this book to tell you how much and how often I partook of that all-time favorite! Did I gain weight? Yep. Did I have to buy bigger clothes? Yep. Was I satisfied? Yep. But not for long and not for the right reasons. It didn’t take long for my self-image to take a hit, my confidence to become shaky, and my frustration at myself and my lack of self-control to rear its ugly head.

As I stood before my own self-serving feeding trough, I realized how dissatisfied I had become. But the problem wasn’t just that I was eating too much. True, I wasn’t glad I had gained weight, but that wasn’t the sole source of my discontent. I was upset with myself for throwing caution to the wind and reaping the whirlwind of weight gain, a negative body image, and physical fatigue.

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