Inescapable by C. J. Fallowfield

Author:C. J. Fallowfield [Fallowfield, C. J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: C.J. Fallowfield
Published: 2018-05-30T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Ten

Castle

A Month Later

‘AM I CRAZY?’ I asked Ester.

‘Do you think you’re crazy?’ She pretty much always answered one of my questions with one of her own. I should know better after so many sessions over the years.

‘I’m thinking of sharing parts of my life with Alex that I’ve never shared with anyone. It’s only been five weeks.’

‘What significance do you attach to that timeframe?’

‘It’s too soon.’

‘Too soon for what?’

‘Feelings,’ I muttered, as I averted my gaze to look out of her window.

‘According to who?’

‘Me,’ I replied with a sigh. One moment I was convinced everything felt perfectly natural, the next I was worrying it was all too fast and everything could go wrong. ‘I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved with a woman again unless I was sure it would last.’

‘Can anyone ever be sure of something like that?’

‘No, I guess not.’

‘But you have them, feelings for her?’

‘Yes,’ I admitted on a whisper as my gaze slid back to hers.

‘Is it that you don’t trust in your feelings, or maybe it’s that you don’t trust in hers?’ Ester’s question made me take pause to consider the answer that I already knew, but hadn’t wanted to vocalise in case it made it real.

‘What if she’s transferring? I’ve made her feel safe and that’s why she’s giving me these subconscious signals that she wants me. She could have reacted like this to anyone who offered her protection.’

‘And that’s what’s worrying you?’

‘Yes.’ I felt some kind of relief just admitting it.

‘Hmmm,’ Ester murmured as she set her clipboard and pen down, then leaned forward in her chair. She held my gaze as she waited for me to say more.

‘Don’t do that,’ I muttered, frustration rising to the surface as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. These were the moments when I felt like therapy was a complete waste of time. These were the moments when I wanted someone to take the decision-making process out of my hands and give me a goddamn answer. I wanted to be able to blame someone other than myself again, if it all went horribly wrong. I scrubbed my hands over my face. I should know better. Only I was the master of my own fate. I dropped my hands and let out a heavy sigh as I made eye contact with her again.

‘Don’t do what?’ she asked after a long period of silence.

‘Just sit there, looking at me. That means you’re expecting me to say something insightful that will solve my own problem. Has she given you any indication of how she really feels about me?’

‘You know that I can’t disclose anything discussed in my sessions with her, Tate,’ Ester replied, slowly sitting back and crossing her legs, with her hands folded in her lap. ‘But as you’ve told me about the torture that she endured, I can tell you one thing. A woman that emotionally scarred would have incredibly high self-preservation barriers around herself. She’d never give away her trust quickly, or easily. If you

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.