in1

Author:Jackie
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2012-07-17T19:30:12.503139+00:00

CHAPTER VI

THE COALS of the dying fire laid strange tints of color on Kyla‟ s face and shoulders and the wispy waves

of her dark hair. Now that we were alone, I felt constrained.

“ Can‟ t you sleep, Jason?”

I shook my head. “ Better sleep while you can.” I felt that this night of al nights I dared not close my eyes

or when I woke I would have vanished into the Jay Allison I hated. For a moment I saw the room with his

eyes; to him it would not seem cozy and clean, but— habituated to white sterile tile, Terran rooms and

corridors— dirty and unsanitary as any beast‟ s den.

Kyla said broodingly, “ You‟ re a strange man, Jason. What sort of man are you— in Terra‟ s world?”

I laughed, but there was no mirth in it. Suddenly I had to tel her the whole truth:

“ Kyla, the man you know as me doesn‟ t exist. I was created for this one specific task. Once it‟ s finished,

so am I.”

She started, her eyes widening. “ I‟ ve heard tales of— of the Terrans and their sciences— that they make

men who aren‟ t real, men of metal— not bone and flesh— ”

Before the dawning of that naïve horror I quickly held out my bandaged hand, took her fingers in mine

and ran them over it. “ Is this metal? No, no, Kyla. But the man you know as Jason— I won‟ t be he, I‟ l

be someone different— ” How could I explain a subsidiary personality to Kyla, when I didn‟ t understand it

myself?

She kept my fingers in hers softly and said, “ I saw someone else— looking from your eyes at me once. A

ghost.”

I shook my head savagely. “ To the Terrans, I‟ m the ghost!”

“ Poor ghost,” she whispered.

Her pity stung. I didn‟ t want it.

“ What I don‟ t remember I can‟ t regret. Probably I won‟ t even remember you.” But I lied. I knew that

although I forgot everything else, unregretting because unremembered, I could not bear to lose this girl,

that my ghost would walk restless forever if I forgot her. I looked across the fire at Kyla, cross-legged in

the faint light— only a few coals in the brazier. She had removed her sexless outer clothing, and wore

some clinging garment, as simple as a child‟ s smock and curiously appealing. There was still a little ridge

of bandage visible beneath it and a random memory, not mine, remarked in the back corners of my brain

that with the cut improperly sutured there would be a visible scar. Visible to whom?

She reached out an appealing hand. “ Jason! Jason— ”

My self-possession deserted me. I felt as if I stood, small and reeling, under a great empty echoing

chamber which was Jay Al ison‟ s mind, and that the roof was about to fall in on me. Kyla‟ s image

flickered in and out of focus, first infinitely gentle and appealing, then— as if seen at the wrong end of a

telescope— far away and sharply incised and as remote and undesirable as any bug underneath a lens.

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