If He’s Not The One, Who Is? by Lisa Steadman
Author:Lisa Steadman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Polka Dot Press, an imprint of Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
Published: 2010-07-15T00:00:00+00:00
In trying to punish your ex, the only person who actually gets punished is you. By keeping your guard up, sealing your heart permanently shut, and shunning any potential suitors who happen to show up, you’re blowing your chances at any form of happily ever after. What a shame!
Wouldn’t it be better to forgive yourself for getting hurt? Wouldn’t it be easier to let go of your need to punish your ex and instead step effortlessly into your blissful future?
The answer is yes. But until you’re ready to ditch your drama, you’re going to stay stuck, and only you can decide how long you want to be stuck for. A week? A month? A decade? The choice is yours. I suggest you get out your calendar, decide on an end date to your heart hostage situation, and get back to the business of your fabulous future.
Date-Ja-Vu
Here’s another insidious way you may be still hung up on your ex and sabotaging your chances of meeting really great guys in the near future. Whenever you think about dating someone new and really getting to know them, the idea overwhelms you. If and when you find yourself on a second or third date with the same guy, you always find some random reason to get rid of him. Either he’s too nice, too available, too into you— you name it. There’s always a problem and a legitimate reason to jump to the dump.
Sound familiar, Dump-zilla?
Let me tell you what’s really happening here. While you’re allegedly making a valiant effort at the dating game, you’re really just going through the motions. In all honesty, you don’t want to get to know someone new. You have no desire to expend any energy or invest any time with all that getting-to-know-you verbal and emotional diarrhea. If—and only if — the universe would guarantee that you could have the exact same relationship you had with your ex with someone new and skip over the oh-so-important first few dates screening process, that would be perfect! Otherwise, you just don’t have the time, energy, or interest, do you?
from the fearless female files .
“When I first started dating again, I was pretty terrible at it. I found any excuse not to see someone more than once or twice. Either his eyebrows were too bushy, or his car wasn’t good enough, or he seemed too predictable. What was predictable was me. I ditched a lot of simply, truly nice guys because I was afraid of getting hurt again. Once I woke up to that painful truth, I had to get real. It was hard, but the best thing I ever did. Now I’m actually pretty good at dating. I even enjoy juggling several really great guys at the same time.”—jeannie
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