I Know Nothing! by Andrew Sachs

Author:Andrew Sachs [Andrew Sachs]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781849547116
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
Published: 2014-06-05T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 9

A Wounded Bird

One weekend in September 1943, I came home and made my way up our stairs for an urgent visit to the loo. Coming out again, I noticed what looked like a scrap of rubbish flapping about between the two panes of the open sash window. It turned out to be a forlorn little bird caught in the narrow space and struggling feebly to haul itself out. My hand and fingers were too clumsy to attempt a rescue. Dad was the only one at home and, although it was not one of his best days, he was more than ready to help.

After fetching my book on birds from my bedroom, we tiptoed back into the toilet. The poor thing was still there. Dad’s fingers were slimmer than mine, but it still needed the additional use of a spoon to help lever the victim gently to safety and, even more gently, onto the closed lavatory seat for a rest, some breadcrumbs and a hastily wiped ashtray of water. I had identified our guest as a swift, a migratory species. The bird should have been on its way to Africa, flying non-stop and partying on a million tasty insects en route, rather than making do with mouldy breadcrumbs and a wet fag end on a loo lid.

While I kept a close watch on our quivering visitor, Dad cautiously dismantled its lethal window trap. For some minutes, not a breath, not a wing flap. Then, finally, we saw some signs of life, as the swift teetered awkwardly towards the edge of the loo, fluttered its wings – and plunged more or less head first onto the lino, bewildered but still in one piece.

Not nearly as bewildered as I was. ‘It can’t fly!’ I whispered urgently. ‘Is it broken wings, Dad?’

‘Maybe, maybe not. Hmm, nothing else in your animal book?’

I shook my head.

‘Well, I could be wrong but I seem to remember that the legs of some birds – like swifts, perhaps – are too weak to push themselves up into the air. Yes, come closer, take a look – there’s hardly anything of them – can you see?’

He was right.

‘I think what they probably have to do first is to drop down, from a cliff or a rooftop or, well, not from a lavatory seat, anyway.’

‘Not high enough!’ I agreed, nodding wisely.

‘Exactly, drop down to a point where the air pressure against the wings is strong enough to stop them falling and start pushing them up instead for their journey.’

Brilliant! It would be a risky manoeuvre but what other choice did we have except throw the poor creature into the air and hope for the best? We ruled that out and decided to rely on nature and the bird itself to know best and take over. So Dad, ever so carefully, moved the bird close to the window sill’s edge and then retreated to join me, fingers crossed as we prayed for a good outcome.

We didn’t have long to wait. Without

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