How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes

Author:Leil Lowndes
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, azw3, pdf
Tags: Psychology, Body language., Interpersonal Communication, Interpersonal relations, Oral Communication In Business, Business, Business Communication, Careers & Success, Social Psychology, Language Arts & Disciplines, Personal Growth - General, Business Communication - General, Economics, Interpersonal communication., Family & Relationships, Self-Help, Personal Growth, Advice on careers & achieving success, Business & Economics, Electronic books, Communication, General, Body language, Social Interaction
ISBN: 9780071418584
Publisher: McGraw Hill Professional
Published: 2003-09-19T17:25:11.285000+00:00

How to Talk to Anyone - 92 Little Tricks...

PART FIVE

How to Sound Like Youre Peas in a Pod

Why, Were Just Alike!

If you squint your eyes and look up carefully at a flight of birds, youll see finches flying with finches, swallows soaring with swalows, and yellow birds winging it with yellow birds. The avian apartheid escalates. Youll never see a barn swallow with a bank swallow, or even a yellow bird hanging out with a yellow finch. Somebody said it shorter: Birds of a feather flock together.

Happily, humans are smarter than birds. In one respect, at least: we have brains capable of overcoming bias. Really smart human beings work together, play together, and break bread together. Does that mean their comfort level is high? Well, that depends on the human being. Our purpose here is not to exaine the absurdity of apartheid. It is to leave no stone unturned in making sure people are completely comfortable doing business or pleasure with you.

It has been proven beyond a doubt, people are most recetive to those they feel have the same values in life. In one study,

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individuals were first given a personality and beliefs test.They were then paired off with a partner and told to go spend time together. Before meeting, half the couples were told they were very similar in beliefs to their partner. The other half were told they were dissimilar. Neither statement was true.

However, when quizzed afterward on how much they liked each other, partners who believed they were similar liked each other a lot more than the couples who thought themselves to be dissimilar, demonstrating we have a predisposition toward people we believe are just like us. We are most comfortable giving our business and friendship to those we feel share our values and beliefs in life. To that end I offer six techniques to create senstions of similarity with everyone you wish.

Along with making more profound rapport with customers, friends, and associates, using the following techniques develops a deeper understanding and empathy with people of all races and backgrounds. It also opens doors that might otherwise be closed to you.

How to Make Them Feel Youre of the Same Class

Just like the finch flaps its wings faster than the gliding eagle, peple of different backgrounds move differently. For example, Weserners used to the wide-open plains stand farther from each other. Easterners, systematically sardined into subways and crowded busses, stand closer. Asian Americans make modest movements. Italian Americans make massive ones.

At teatime, the finishing-school set genuflects and gracefully lowers derrieres onto the sofa. When the ladies reach for a cup, they hold the saucer in one hand and the cup in the other, pinkie ever so slightly extended. Folks who never finished any manners school make a fanny dive in the middle of the sofa and clutch the cup with both hands.

Is one right? Is the other wrong? No. However, top commnicators know when doing business with a derriere-dipping pinkie extender or a fanny-plopping, two-fisted mug grabber, they darn well should do the same.

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