How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends by Rees Carl

Author:Rees, Carl
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-11-08T00:00:00+00:00

THE IMPORTANCE OF READING THE ROOM

I was invited to a party many years ago when I was a new resident in a foreign land, where I didn't know anyone. I couldn't locate the hostess on my own at the time of arrival so ventured out. While the men looked a lot more fascinating than the sensibly soled women, I knew that introducing myself to the boys as the new girl in town would not make the girls happy. I thought I was approaching a group of three worthy but dull-looking local matrons playing it safe.

As I was approaching them, I found they were turning more inward into themselves. I extended my right hand in greeting too late to stop and step in another direction and introduced myself by my name. Having barely flicked a look over her shoulder, the party spokesperson held her hands on her sides and, with her mouth and eyes flickering over my person with contempt, said in a bland and lifeless tone, "Hi." She then turned back to her friends as I stared in wonder and confusion at my outstretched hand.

Not long after, at an industry conference, I ran a workshop where networking was the norm. I was on my own again. By the time I arrived, groups had formed at the end of the day, during the cocktail hour. I stood on the sidelines, watched, and waited to prevent a repetition of the previous story. I soon spied a group of young adult women engaged in vigorous debate. One of the women scowled at me. Her eyes were veiled, and she gave a genuine smile. She gestured for me to join the group that opened up and invited me into their talk. Several weeks later, Kathrine invited me to talk at a conference which was hosted by her company. She and I continue to enjoy working together for years and several productive contracts later, designing strategic communication training initiatives for their organization.

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.”

–Keith Ferrazzi

Often, you may get caught in a conversation going nowhere. The person is perfectly lovely–just not somebody that you find especially fascinating. Take control instead of just being trapped. Any of the suggestions below will help both of you move on to other conversations.

"Join me while I'm drinking." People tend to gather near the bar, so you can find others to chat to.

"I love our discussion so much and don't want your time to be monopolized. Let's enter the man / woman / group over there. "You might find the person you're struggling to communicate with is communicating with someone else easily.

"I have to talk to Amanda/Tony before they're off. Is there anybody that you would like me to add before I find them?"Even if you don't know the person, you can walk up to them and say' John / Ann; I'd like to introduce you to George / Katrin' and then leave them to get on with the rest while you find the person you'd like to meet.

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