Hip Snips by Pablo Mitchell

Author:Pablo Mitchell [Mitchell, Pablo]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-59474-809-7
Publisher: Quirk Books
Published: 2014-10-27T16:00:00+00:00

The Handlebar

The Handlebar is a most dashing cut for any gentleman, meant for those occasions when you’re taking a lady to a performance at the local theater or, perhaps, to a moving-picture show. When your damsel pulls down your trousers, she’ll know you’re a fine suitor upon seeing your “graspable extremities.”

To style the Handlebar, first sharpen your straightedge razor* on a piece of leather. Next, take some hot shaving cream and apply it to your private hair. Shave, leaving only a horizontal strip about five to eight inches long, directly above your private parts. Finally, take two dollops of styling gel betwixt the thumbs and forefingers of each hand and style the strip of hair into a handlebar-style mustache. Your crotch will evoke such strong males as William Howard Taft, Archduke Ferdinand, and Josef Stalin and will give your lover something to hold on to.

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