Hiding in the Light: Why I Risked Everything to Leave Islam and Follow Jesus by Rifqa Bary

Author:Rifqa Bary
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781601426963
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2015-05-18T16:00:00+00:00

Sixteen

Whirrrrrrr! The maintenance man had begun his Sunday afternoon routine, the roar of his industrial vacuum cleaner nosing its way closer to where I was sitting. I’m sure he had no idea why I was weeping and whimpering. But he acted like he didn’t want to notice. Tending to someone like me, I’m sure, wasn’t on his methodical schedule, and probably not within his skill set anyway. His arrival on the scene let me know I needed to find another place to hide. I didn’t want to be forced to explain to the cleaning crew or security guards what I was doing here alone in church.

Just then it dawned on me that I hadn’t slept in more than thirty hours. I was as much a physical wreck as an emotional and mental one. So as I slipped out of the sanctuary and into the hallway, I began hunting a place where I might be able to lay my head down and sleep. I still wanted to stay alert to Brian’s arrival, but fatigue was coming close to incapacitating me. I was famished, running on my last dregs of energy.

Stopping by a bathroom, finding no one inside, I locked myself in a large handicapped stall and practically crumpled to the ground, my weak and bony legs shivering at the touch of the cold tile floor. Of all the things I never saw myself doing, one of them included taking a nap in a rest room. Running away from home to avoid the possibility of being killed was once on that dreaded list as well, and I’d already crossed that one off this morning. So ignoring my shame and the chill in my body, I curled into a ball in a corner of the stall. I used my backpack for a pillow and closed my tear-filled eyes. Who would rescue me? I fell asleep to the whisper of my own voice, crying, “Lord, save me…”

I didn’t sleep for as long as it seemed, but the short nap somewhat energized me. By the time I emerged from the ladies’ room—apparently undetected—I felt a little better. A little sharper. I decided to go back upstairs to the seclusion of the balcony, where I’d positioned myself at first. I could occasionally hear people coming and going from there, but as of yet, no sign of Brian.

Where is he? I wondered, growing more nervous and edgy with each passing hour. What if he never shows up? What should I do then? I couldn’t seem to sit still with these thoughts for very long without wanting to jump out of my skin. So at intervals I’d get up and walk around, trying to clear my head, trying to settle myself down.

Finally I heard my name.

“Rifqa!”

I stopped in my tracks. I ran and peered over the balcony. “Hello?” I said meekly. No one was there.

“Rifqa!”

I knew I wasn’t hearing things. “Yes? Hello?” Gripping my hands to the railing so I could lean over a little farther, I thought

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