Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan J. Elliott

Author:Susan J. Elliott
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: Da Capo Press

Social and Recreational Groups

If you’re coming out of a long relationship or have gone from relationship to relationship without a break in-between, you might discover that you no longer have many outside interests. You need to start cultivating them from the beginning of your breakup. Doing this will not only make the breakup a smoother transition for you, but it will give you ways to meet new people, express yourself, and discover new aspects of your personality.

A hobby, sports, or social group can be a great way to meet people with similar interests to yours. Joining these types of groups is not the same as just keeping busy. This exploration is an important step in the rebuilding process because it’s about rediscovering who you are, and discovering that there are other people like you out there.

At first it may be tough to get out because you feel too raw and introverted to start looking for groups that fit your interests. Give yourself the time you need, but once you feel ready, find things you enjoy and people you want to be around. Investigate a few options that get you out and about, and see what you like. Even then, when you do decide to venture out, it might be difficult to let go, have fun, and not be self-conscious. Your affirmations will help with this as time goes by. Keep trying.

If you do want to join groups right away, that’s great. Just don’t get so busy that your work falls by the wayside. Remember, your goal is balance. Don’t fall too deeply into your new social network, and don’t stay isolated, either.

You may have found some new interests when you were retraining your brain, but branch out even further to increase your social network. Look into church groups, reading groups, softball teams, bowling leagues. Join a gym and take some classes there. Take informal classes at a community college. If you want to learn to play golf or some other sport, there are probably clinics you can attend. If you’ve always wanted to act, join a community theater group. If you’ve always wanted to sing, join a choir or other singing group. Go to Meetup.com and find other groups that regularly get together in person. It’s important to socialize, in person, with new people.

Support is important, groups are important, and building your life is important. Without self-care and paying attention to yourself and your wants and needs, it becomes easier to slip back into a relationship before you are ready or to contact your ex and play games on that front. Making yourself a priority in your life helps with the work you must do and builds a foundation for your future. When you make your life a priority, it sends a message to healthy people who are attracted to those with rich, full lives. Take care of your life and your life will take care of you.

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