Fully Engaged by Thomas M. Sterner

Fully Engaged by Thomas M. Sterner

Author:Thomas M. Sterner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New World Library


Deciding what you will do in a difficult situation before you are in it can completely change your experience of the event when it occurs.

CHAPTER 4

Premeditated Procedures

Escape the Drama

As I mentioned in chapter 2, premeditated procedures are a powerful and dependable way of changing your experience of a stressful situation.

Most of us know exactly what sets us off in a difficult confrontation. Without the correct tools at hand, we can very quickly become absorbed in the emotion of the situation. Instead of being the observer of our thoughts, we become tightly integrated with them, acting out whatever we are feeling. In this state we have relinquished our power as a conscious choice maker. Some people never progress past this state. I would go so far as to say that they’re not even aware that a much more refined and powerful state exists. Some people are on the other end of the spectrum, where nothing seems to take control away from them in terms of how they react and how they experience any situation, regardless of how difficult the situation may be. Most of us fall somewhere in between those two extremes.

But as your self-awareness increases through your meditative practice, and as your connection to the observer within you grows, you will start to notice how you respond to confrontational situations as they are happening rather than in review. You won’t have to try to make this happen; it will be a natural outgrowth of your practice. As I’ve stated, you cannot change anything without awareness. Awareness must come first. But we all know that simply being aware of something we’d like to change in ourselves doesn’t make the change magically happen. It only gives us the opportunity to change, the privilege of choice. To move to the next step and to execute, we need a plan. We need a step-by-step plan customized to our personality to help us deflect the emotional content of a confrontational situation, a comforting place we can retreat to internally, where we can have a moment to take a virtual breath and exercise our power of choice.

In The Practicing Mind I talked about using procedures as a way of accomplishing this. Procedures eliminate the need to make decisions, which can be very challenging when you are in a difficult situation. They thin out the emotional energy that can flow so freely in stressful situations, allowing us to stay more fully engaged in the moment. I’d like to share a story about an experience I had many years ago in my business as a concert piano technician that really clarified the value of creating a premeditated procedure for handling a difficult situation.

A very well-known concert pianist was coming into town and was scheduled for a solo appearance that evening at the concert hall. There would be nothing onstage but the performer and the concert grand piano. There would be no orchestra and no other musicians to hide any imperfections in his performance. Life as a touring concert



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