Finding the Doorbell by Cindy Pierce & Edie Thys Morgan

Author:Cindy Pierce & Edie Thys Morgan [Pierce, Cindy & Morgan, Edie Thys]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2011-01-13T04:13:06.162000+00:00

90 | finding the doorbell

Mastur and Mistress Bating

There is so much anecdotal evidence on the relative imbalance between male and female desire for sexual frequency that, even before our research confirmed it, we firmly believed that for men, “releasing the hostages”

through masturbation is a virtual necessity to keeping the peace in the typical household. We also expected to find that women in long-term relationships aren’t looking for more ways to get off. Splat! Another assumption bites the dust. In many cases, the emotionally and physically easiest way for women to reclaim sexual desire is with a little private practice. Here’s the story from a 33-year-old mother of two.

“After I stopped working and was at home with two toddlers I became very depressed, and unsure of who I was in this new role of stay-at-home mom. I did not know what being a good mother meant, and felt like I was not making progress in any direction. I resented my husband for having his own business, creating his own happiness, and being able to be good and productive every day in very measurable ways—financial and otherwise. My feelings about not working and my new status (or perceived lack thereof) in life were impacting our family and certainly my sex life.

“I thought one way that I could work on getting back into the swing of having sex with my husband was to remind myself of how pleasurable sex can be. With some regularity on the two mornings a week that I dropped my boys to their pre-school programs, I would stop at a convenience store for a large coffee and get all jacked up on caffeine while I drove home.

“By the time I got there I was alert and eager for ‘action.’ I immediately headed up to our bedroom and began my morning of solitude by unplugging the fan by the bed, then plugging in my own adult toy. That began my sex “therapy” session. My immediate goal was achieving an orgasm, and ultimately, perhaps ironically, achieving a better sex life with my husband.

Once I was finished with the task at hand, so to speak, I returned the toy to its top-secret location, re-made the bed, and carried on with my day.

“After a few rounds of this, I felt better enough to make an effort to enjoy being intimate with my husband. Occasionally, as he plugged in the fan before bed I noticed a puzzled look on his face, which reminded me that I needed to cover my tracks better. Inevitably I forgot to do this a few more times and finally one night my husband asked why the fan was always unplugged. Without missing a beat I blamed my then two-year-old:

‘He’s constantly getting into everything, taking stuff apart—that’s what the days are like around here . . .’ One night while my husband and I were out to dinner talking about funny sex stories I came clean with the fan/

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