Falling with Wings by Dianna De La Garza

Author:Dianna De La Garza
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“My kids aren’t perfect; nobody’s kids are. Everything I had tried to sweep under the rug exploded that day when she called me from the bathroom.”

As the spring of 2004 approached, our family took a deep breath and tried to assess where we were on the grand highway to stardom. The general conclusion was that we had made progress but nothing big—except for Barney—had really materialized. More and more, it seemed that getting on the Disney Channel might be the best route for our goals, but auditions in our area for that channel were few and far between. We figured we’d keep plugging along until the right part … the right script … the right something came along. For a while, the only thing that came knocking was trouble.

For starters, my depression returned. I couldn’t make it through a single day without dissolving into tears. Desperate for help, I ran back to my doctor. Again, I told no one. He listened, nodding his head as I tried to describe what my life was like. “You know,” he said, “you have a toddler to care for and two busy teens. That’s a lot to manage. Maybe talking to a psychiatrist would help.” When he handed me a list of names to consider, I randomly picked one and set up an appointment.

“I start cleaning the kitchen only to end up in a corner of the room scrubbing a single, tiny tile with a toothbrush, while everything else remains untouched,” I explained. “Then I start crying and walk away in frustration.”

He looked at me curiously. “I don’t think you’re depressed,” he said. “I think you have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).” He promptly wrote me a prescription for twenty milligrams of Adderall and told me it would help.

I’d later learn that dosage was a bit high for my height and weight, but I left his office feeling optimistic. The doctor never mentioned possible side effects such as irregular heartbeats, euphoria, or anxiety, and he certainly never warned me that the drug could be addictive.

The next morning, I took the medication and proceeded to buzz about the kitchen getting all the cleaning done in record time. I was ecstatic. This is great! I finished in less than thirty minutes, and I’m not hungry, either! For good measure, I proceeded to dust the entire house. Then I got everybody ready for the day, marveling that I didn’t feel totally drained. In fact, I had energy to spare.

“Let’s go,” I commanded, heading to the car. “Dallas needs to be put on tape.”

The digital age was still about a decade away, so when the girls auditioned for roles that were being filmed in Los Angeles or somewhere other than Texas, they needed to be “put on tape,” a process that involved going to a studio to be filmed and put on a VHS tape. The first part was “slating,” which meant standing in front of the camera and stating their name, age, and the agency representing them.

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