Enduring the Wild Sparks by Ren Alexander

Author:Ren Alexander
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, azw
Published: 2016-04-25T22:00:00+00:00

Friday, Rod stays on his side of the building, while I stay on mine. We make no plans to meet for lunch. I text Morgan, but she has to take Taj to the doctor, which reminds me of my own appointment, just in time not to be late.

Sitting in the waiting room, several women bring their babies with them. I busy myself with a magazine, but finding one without babies on the front is scarce here.

When I’m called to the back, the nurse is too cheerful for me which only makes me anxious. She brightly instructs me to pee into a cup, step on a scale, and then to strip, “You’ll need to take everything off, put on this paper vest and this sheet goes over your lap.” Like I don’t know the routine by now. I frown at her and then the get-up, laying out for me as if it’s my costume for a morality play. “The tech will be in to check your insides.” I make a face, and want to leave. She must smell fear, because her bright smile amps to the next level. “No worries, hon. It won’t hurt. It’ll be fast. After that, Dr. Raddison will examine you.” I’m absolutely overjoyed by that, and I let her know with another frown.

Thankfully, the ultrasound is fast, but that doesn’t stop the memories from hitting me. I look to the gray screen, remembering the preciousness that resided there for a short time. My baby had a heartbeat, but I never got to hear it. They didn’t offer to let me listen to the doomed sound, and I didn’t ask, not wanting to hear it until now. The too-late thought makes my eyes sting. This time, I look to the screen alone, not even having Rod with me. I clung to him tighter than I could to the hope of my baby ever seeing the light of day.

Knowing she can’t give me an answer, I try anyway. “Do you see anything?”

She rolls the wand on my slippery stomach, over my scar, smiling. “Dr. Raddison will give you the results. I’m done, so I’ll let him take a look and then he’ll be in. You can go ahead and sit up.”

I nod, causing the napkin-like cocoon around me to rustle like a papery applause as I move.

After what feels like an eternity and a day of looking around the exam room, out the window that faces a factory, keeping my ass and boobs covered, and with the baby magazines staring down at me from the rack on the wall, there’s a knock at the door.

Looking over my shoulder, holding tight to what’s essentially an oversized paper towel, I politely smile at Dr. Raddison, who reminds me of a studious chemistry teacher. His hair is graying. My dad has more gray, but still looks younger than my doctor.

Dr. Raddison holds out his hand. “How are you doing, Hadley?”

I shake his hand while holding onto my dignity with the other. “I’m doing okay.

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