Emotional Intelligence: The Complete Step-by-Step Guide on Self-Awareness, Controlling Your Emotions and Improving Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Series, #3) by Ryan James

Author:Ryan James
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: nlp techniques, nlp, self management, empath, anger management, emotional intelligence, emotions, emotional control, personality, persuasion tactics, persuasion skills, persuasion hypnosis, personality types, persuasion, manipulation, jealousy, how to analyze people, how to read people, cognitive behavioral therapy, cbt, depression, anxiety, neuro linguistic programming, stoicism
Publisher: Ryan James
Published: 2018-04-14T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 4: Step #4—Redirecting Your Focus

What you choose to focus on is one of the most critical elements to being able to manage your emotions effectively. Whatever emotion you are focusing on at the time, you are actually feeding it, making it more powerful, and giving it enduring strength. By focusing on the negative feelings in your life, you not only strengthen them, but you weaken the positives. What you feed becomes stronger; what you starve gets weaker. Your emotions are rarely stagnating; they are either growing stronger or becoming weaker. The main part of the word "emotion" is "motion."

Your body feels the emotion before your mind comprehends its intensity or purpose. To prove my point, try a little experiment. Turn the corners of your mouth in a smile and begin to chuckle. Now strengthen that chuckle into full-blown laughter. It won’t take long before your mind begins remembering something that gave you a giggle, and in just a matter of minutes, the positive is set into motion. Admit it; you weren't necessarily thinking about a happy moment before you began to laugh, right? As you focused on the real laughter, your thoughts followed with a happy memory.

The same can be said for clapping your hands and singing a happy tune. There’s something about clapping your hands that won’t allow you to feel depressed. Focus on the motion of clapping and the happy words to the song, and soon your outlook will be happy. It’s like putting the positive in motion. Whatever feeling you focus on and feed becomes stronger. You don’t necessarily have to be right in the middle of a positive experience to feel positive emotions; you just need to engage your mind and decide to be happy and remember something that makes you smile.

Have you ever had a shared story or joke with a family member or best friend and every time you begin to talk about it around others you just can’t control your laughter? Because many in the group didn’t experience the same event you did, they might not get the humor in the story, but it doesn’t really matter because you and your friend are both so into the memory you turn into dribbling idiots and end up needing a tissue to wipe away the tears of laughter.

I shared one of these memories with my mother about a time my father wanted to go swimming but didn't have a suit. So, Mom and I went to the store and purchased a one-size-fits-all canary yellow swimsuit for him. What we discovered was that the clerk wasn't exactly truthful about the one-size-fits-all thing. After 30 minutes of desperate pulling and stretching, with a myriad of loud grunts and groans, my father exited the bathroom with a suit that showed every vulgar bump and wrinkles imaginable. With each step, the suit began to roll and creep down until he then resembled the Norge refrigerator repairman with his exposure getting more critically dangerous by the moment.

Oh, and I

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