Dismantled (Girls on Top #2) by Yara Greathouse

Author:Yara Greathouse [Greathouse, Yara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B00XT8ILHY
Published: 2015-05-15T23:00:00+00:00

Traxx

I leave the office early and no one says anything because I normally immerse myself in work, but today other things are taking place. For the past few weeks I have been in a state of pure tension, but not because of what happened months ago, it’s what is happening right in front of my very own eyes. This situation is completely foreign to someone like me, a person that was unable to form a bond with girls because I was too scared to trust. I’m frustrated and confused.

I mean, Ciara is a knockout. She’s not only beautiful, but she’s also smart, brave and fearless. I feel like I have been missing out. Like all these years I have only been given a tiny glimpse of what she is really about. Who am I kidding? I was scared to know. I was scared to go against what my friends wanted because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I was afraid to love and let others love me because what if they didn’t like the real me? What was it she taught me about fear?… Oh, yeah, fear is an evil bitch and I should never let it control my life.

Am I ready to take that step? Am I really ready? Ready to let go of old inhibitions? Ready to dispose of who I used to be and ready to let myself feel? God, even the thought is scary and intimidating. Am I ready to take all my broken pieces, put them in place and confront the person that I’ve become, the real me? I think that it would be liberating. I had chained myself to what I believed I should be like instead of being the real me. I closed all the doors. If others care and love me, why can’t I do the same?

Sometimes I think that life has punished me enough. I was a jerk and have learned my lesson. I live with regret for some things that I have done. All I need to do is figure out a way to make a difference. To help others the way my friends are helping me. The way Ciara is helping me.

I grab a beer from the fridge and head to the balcony. I hear music from below and I smile. Looking at the parking lot I spot her car. Ciara is home. I feel so emotionally vulnerable at the moment, I want to jump and run to her door, assault her lips and kiss her senseless. So many things I want to tell her. What I feel when we are hanging out, how I admire her on so many levels, and how grateful I am that she is opening my eyes to what really matters. Life, me, her, us. Fuck!

I want to be near her. I know she feels something for me. No one would give so much of themselves to help another human being if they didn’t care. If you asked me this question a year ago, I would have laughed.

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