Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Stone Douglas & Patton Bruce

Author:Stone, Douglas & Patton, Bruce [Stone, Douglas]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Penguin
Published: 2010-11-01T16:00:00+00:00

Letting Go Doesn’t Mean I No Longer Care. Often we are unable to let go because we fear that if we do, it will mean we no longer care. If you and your sister weren’t at odds, how would you show how important she is to you, or know that you’re just as significant in her life? Is it possible to let go and still care enormously?

David has wrestled with this issue more deeply than most:When my brother was murdered, I didn’t think I could ever forgive the man who shot him – over something as stupid as a drink in a poker game. And I have to admit that I was also angry with my brother for being there.

I didn’t attend the trial. I couldn’t. For years every time I would be reminded of my brother, the fury and pain of the injustice of his death would surge through me. In my mind, I would have conversations with my brother in which I’d tell him not only how sad I was, but how angry I was at him for being so foolish, and for abandoning me.

It’s only recently that I’ve begun to see the power in forgiving each of them – my brother and the man who murdered him. Letting go of my rage and indignation doesn’t mean I have to let go of my love for my brother or my sense of loss. There’s nothing I can do about it, and I’ve finally accepted that. I’ll never get over losing my brother. I still talk to him. But the conversations aren’t so hard. I can miss him terribly without the clutter of so many other feelings.

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