Death to All Sacred Cows by David Bernstein

Author:David Bernstein
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781401396367
Publisher: Hachette Books

strange bedfellow

When we say “politics,” what do you think of? If your answer is “Brave men and women who selflessly sacrifice their time and efforts to make this great nation of ours even greater,” then you have been exposed to near lethal doses of chemical solvents and should check yourself into a hospital with a good Hazmat unit immediately. If your answer is “Venal, self-serving creeps whose morals would embarrass Satan,” then you’re our kind of people. And we have a story to tell you about politics and one politician in particular. Like all good political stories, this one starts in Washington, D.C. Actually, it starts in Mississippi, but it doesn’t get good until it hits Washington.

Once upon a time there a little boy named Marion Shepilov Barry, Jr. He was a gifted student, a tireless fighter for civil rights, and in 1974 he became a politician. Some of his early career highlights include receiving a master’s degree in organic chemistry, serving as president of the Washington, D.C., school board, and getting shot by radical Muslim terrorists.

With sparkling credentials like that, it’s no surprise that Marion became mayor of D.C. He served with distinction and was reelected three times. Sure, there were some nagging rumors of drug use, but there’s always mudslinging in any electoral process.

In 1990 the slung mud finally stuck. Marion Barry was arrested for possession of cocaine. At the time of his arrest, he was in a seedy motel with a woman who was conspicuously not his wife. He made reference to this woman in one of his famous quotations: “Bitch set me up!” This bon mot is right up there with some of his other legendary utterances including: “If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very, very low crime rate,” and “First, it was not a strip bar—it was an erotic club. And, second, what can I say? I’m a night owl.”

Well, the owl had his wings clipped and spent six months of nights and days hooting from a perch in prison. Okay, he had made a mistake, but people make mistakes, right? Upon leaving prison, he decided to test the validity of that most compassionate of Sacred Cows, Everybody Deserves A Second Chance.

In 1992 Marion Barry won a council seat running with the slogan “He may not be perfect, but he’s perfect for D.C.” Drug charges notwithstanding, you’ve got to admire the guy’s style. Two years later, he became mayor again.

Did Hizzoner Deserve this Second Chance? Judge for yourself. In 2002, police found small amounts of marijuana and cocaine in Mr. Barry’s car. In 2005, the ex-mayor pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges levied by the IRS. And, as a result of that guilty plea, he was tested for drugs. The tests revealed that he had cocaine and marijuana in his system.

We would never cast aspersions on anyone’s character. That’s simply not the way we roll. But without wanting to sound negative or judgmental in any way, we must conclude that Marion Barry may well be history’s most compelling argument against randomly giving everyone a Second Chance.

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