Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life by David Hawkins

Author:David Hawkins
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780736931380
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers

Crazy-Makers and the Truth

Each of our crazy-makers is skilled in the art of deception, and we need to understand how, and perhaps even why, they rely on deceit. Let’s look more closely at how our crazy-makers employ dishonesty and trickery and the impact they have on us.

Aggressors

Aggressors want to avoid the truth at any cost. They are masters at deception. They are prepared to explode in anger if you don’t go along with their game plan. For them, it’s “my way or the highway.”

If aggressors were always aggressive, the choice would be easy— the highway, of course. But things aren’t that simple. A man with antisocial personality disorder—often the underlying diagnostic category of the aggressor—can be as charming as a snake-oil salesman. He can con you out of your money, your home, and your sexuality. The APD man or woman uses deception like a private detective uses eavesdropping equipment to discover information about you that will make you vulnerable.

Consider Stephan, a client referred to me by his attorney for domestic violence treatment. He appeared in my office wearing jeans and a Harley-Davidson T-shirt. He had long salt-and-pepper hair and a handlebar mustache. I judged him to be in his midforties.

He made no effort to impress me. He had been arrested and evicted from his home for slapping his wife during an altercation. It was not his first skirmish with the law, but he insisted it would be his last.

“Let’s talk about what happened,” I said during his initial evaluation interview.

“There’s not much to say,” Stephan said. “We were arguing with each other, and things got heated. I slapped her once, she called the cops, and I was arrested. That’s it.”

Stephan sat rigidly in his chair, arms crossed, cool and collected. His gaze was steady, his speech firm and smooth. Stroking his moustache, he looked at me as if to let me know that the next move was mine.

Stephan’s composed exterior seemed like an attempt to control the evaluation, a way to avoid exposing any more of himself than was absolutely necessary. His simple version of the incident would have been more plausible, however, had I not read the police report, which revealed a very different story. That version, complete with testimony from his estranged spouse, strongly suggested Stephan had a history of verbal and physical abuse. She told the officer that Stephan had hit her several times and noted, “He has done this before. If he doesn’t get his way he blows up.”

As I read the official version of the incident aloud, Stephan kept his gaze steady. “Not true,” was his response to each accusation.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Not true,” he said firmly. “You can believe what you want to believe, but it’s not true. I know the game. You’re being paid to make me look bad.”

Stephan was obviously lying to me. It was quite apparent that there was more to the story than he was willing to reveal. Stephan was an aggressor, fully comfortable with his own deception.

I have worked extensively with aggressors.

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