Dealing with People You Can't Stand by Dr. Rick Brinkman

Author:Dr. Rick Brinkman
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
ISBN: 9780071785730
Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies,Inc.

Though the answers were obvious to Jamie, they definitely were not obvious to Teri. So Jamie helped Teri to see that she had options that she didn’t use. For example, she could have stated at the original meeting that she could be part of a team but couldn’t do it all, or she could have called Ms. Rooklyn as soon as she felt overwhelmed and asked for more help, or she could have not volunteered in the first place. If she didn’t have the heart to pressure the accounting department because of the reorganization, she could have asked Jamie to do so, rather than putting it off to a later time. There were plenty of options, as soon as the motivation to use them was clear. Reliability and asking for help are both acts of teamwork and friendship.

By using the past experience as a template, you can go back together and approach the task as if it’s in the future. What motivation was missing? What could have been done differently? How else could the situation have been handled? Help the Yes People focus in on the specific action steps and processes involved in accomplishing the task. Too quick to please, people whose top priority is to get along with others rarely take the time to do this, until someone shows them the importance of it. Make certain to deal with the excuses that they’ve made in the past about how the phone kept ringing off the hook, how people kept stopping by, how there was too much work in the way that prevented them from getting to it, and so on—all those signs and symptoms of a disorganized people person.

At this point you may be thinking, “Hey, I don’t want to have to do their work for them!” And you shouldn’t have to. Still, if you are already frustrated from dealing with unkept commitments, you might as well put the energy to good use that you’ve been investing in feelings of frustration. If you take the time up front to create comfort around honest communication, and then teach your Yes Person some simple task management skills, you won’t have to deal with Yes behavior down the line.

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