Dating: Body Language Basics by Joe Navarro

Author:Joe Navarro
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2011-09-04T04:30:00+00:00

Ventral Denial and Ventral Fronting

In 2007, I introduced the terms ventral fronting and ventral denial into the literature (“What Every Body is Saying,” HarperCollins) on nonverbal communication to explain a phenomenon that I had observed around the world which subtly transmits discomfort to others. We have all heard someone say “don’t turn your back on me!” both figuratively and literally. The reason we have heard it and seen it is because it is a universal behavior - even 2 year olds do it; it is a form of distancing which says I don’t like what you said, who you are, or what you represent.

For millions of years our species has in one form or another communicated to others how we felt about them through exposure of our ventral side (our belly side). We reserve this behavior for those whom we trust and care for, which is why you see it with babies (belly up), couples in love, and even with dogs, who expose their belly side. It is how we show others we are relaxed and comfortable around them and we care for them. Because this is our most vulnerable side, we expose it only when we feel psychological comfort.

Conversely, the very instant we feel uncomfortable with someone, ventral denial kicks in as a limbic defense and as a means of communicating our honest feelings. During the give and take of a conversation our feelings and sentiments will be reflected in our ever-changing nonverbal behaviors. If we hear something distasteful one minute and something favorable the next, our bodies will reflect this through ventral denial and ventral fronting respectively, depending on how we feel about what is being said.

Yet many people miss this very telling behavior. Watch a woman at a bar when someone makes her uncomfortable. She will immediately turn away slightly (ventral denial), gather her purse placing it on her lap, and only make limited eye contact perhaps using her shoulder a s barrier. This is not only distancing, this is also visceral protection – an evolutionary response to anything that might threaten us or may cause us psychological discomfort – by protecting our most vulnerable side.

Another good example is watching people at a party – when someone arrives that is not particularly liked or welcome, others will begin to turn away slightly or shield themselves by blading their bodies slightly away, giving what we often call “the cold shoulder.”

Ventral denial is one of the best indicators that a relationship is in trouble. When couples start denying each other their ventral side - things are over. And yes this is even at a distance. I am reminded of a picture I saw of Prince Charles and Princes Diana sitting in their car during their final months together, each denying the other their ventral side. It was very clear to me what they felt about each other and where the relationship was headed. One way I find to remember this is “Belly away, don’t want you to stay.”

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