Darling by Gabrielle G

Author:Gabrielle G [G, Gabrielle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gabrielle Guillon
Published: 2019-11-11T16:00:00+00:00

16

Dan

My problems really started when I arrived in the States. Before that, I was often in trouble, but my father kept me in check. Once my mom and I left the UK though, I went wild. He wasn’t around anymore to control my impulses, and my mother was too sweet to do anything about my behavior.

The last fight I remember between them, my father was begging my mother to stay in London so he could still set me straight, and she refused because he was too strict with me. Once we left, she never asked him for help, even if I was out of control, trying to fly off a building thinking I was Superman or deciding I would be a rock star. She believed in my dreams and helped me achieve them, even when I was crying myself to sleep or getting in trouble at school because I wasn’t listening. She said I could become whatever I wanted. So I did.

When we became famous, my entourage started to realize something wasn’t right. After the ecstatic phase that came with success, I entered a period of depression when I should have been the happiest person in the world. I felt hopeless and withdrew from Lars, Art, and my mother. I lost interest in girls and had even more problems than usual focusing.

Lars wondered if my mood swings and spontaneity weren’t more than eccentricity. He talked to my mom, who told him I’d always been that way. By that time, we were due for our first round of big concerts, and he was worried I wouldn’t be able to do it. He wrote down all my moods from the past year, all my actions, all that he saw when he wasn’t too high. Because our budding celebrity was on the line, he encouraged me to seek help.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II syndrome a little while later, and my new psychiatrist tried to find the right combination of medications to reduce my mood swings and help me focus. Of course, I was upset—not because we had finally put the name on something I’d always felt, but because I wasn’t Bipolar I. I wanted to be the best bipolar ever. I wanted to be grandiose even in my condition. I was Dan fucking Darling, or I was about to be.

Lars and Art never treated me differently, but when we started telling people, the looks I received and the worries people had weren’t worth our band’s reputation, so we decided to keep my situation under wraps. I didn’t want to be seen as a crazy singer because people were mainly misinformed about my condition. After that, anybody we had told had to sign an NDA, and I proved myself a good actor, showing the world I had everything together.

I could fool a lot of people, even my mother and Art. But Lars? He watched me like a hawk and knew me better than anybody else. Nevertheless, I had fooled him. Twice.

The first time was when I met Blossom.

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