Crazy Into You by Marshall Thomas

Author:Marshall Thomas
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: VTO Publishing
Published: 2016-03-22T00:00:00+00:00

What to Work On: Understand Your History

Seek to understand your family history so you can better relate to your parents and come to terms with their shortcomings and challenges and their effects on you. What were the challenges your father faced that contributed to his alcoholism or abusive behavior, for example? Was he abused as a child? What were the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” your mother endured?

I think this is one of the most important things people can do to diminish the chips on their shoulders that affect their responses to life. Finding out about your parents’ own challenging upbringing can help give context that can lead to compassion, forgiveness, acceptance, and removal of major blocks in our own lives that we would have carried around for decades if we hadn’t been able to set them down and move on.

Our source relationships affect all others, including our relationship with ourselves. If we have large unresolved issues such as with our parents and siblings, we can’t but bring those problems into our later relationships. The best way to solve these problems is to go right to the source, if possible. If your parents are still with us, then talk with them about their childhoods. Ask about what trouble they got into, and how they butted heads with their parents. Find out about areas of significant loss in their lives. If grandparents or aunts and uncles are available, find out more from them also.

To keep things in perspective, there are few families that don’t have some type of dysfunction. When we are young and living in a situation involving substance abuse, infidelity, poverty, and such, it’s always easier to think the grass is greener at Sarah’s house, but it might not have been. Talking to your close friends about their upbringings might help to give some perspective that may also help you let go of the hurt and defensiveness that you’ve grown accustomed to and that might have become part of your personality.

These blocks affect subsequent relationships throughout our lives, and high-quality men know when the baggage women haven’t dealt with and let go of will hinder intimacy in a relationship with them.

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