Confident You: An Introvert's Guide to Success in Life and Business by S.J. Scott & Rebecca Livermore

Author:S.J. Scott & Rebecca Livermore [Scott, S.J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-06-22T23:00:00+00:00

Challenge #7: Talking on the Phone

Another challenge many introverts face is talking on the phone.

Sara W. writes: “I absolutely hate it when the telephone rings in my home. I am terrified of answering it. I feel like a phone ringing is an invasion of peace and desired solitude.”

Sara isn’t the only person to feel this way. Great dislike (or even a fear) of the phone came up multiple times in our survey. For many of us, talking on the phone can be more draining than speaking to small groups of people and engaging in face-to-face conversations.

For instance, Imad F. said the following:

“You would think as someone who doesn’t like social interaction, I would prefer talking on the phone to a face to face conversation. But I’m quite the opposite. I hate having to dial the phone to talk to anyone for any reason. Unless it’s my family members.”

We totally get this response.

Here are a few reasons why many introverts despise talking on the phone.

Reason 1: Phone conversations often include small talk.

We’ve already touched upon the dislike that many introverts have for small talk, but for many, it’s even worse on the phone. The whole point of some phone calls is to make small talk instead of discussing any one topic in depth. This is especially true if you live in the southern part of the United States (where most folks have a relaxed way of living).

For instance, when Rebecca first moved to a small town in Texas, she learned the hard way how important it is to spend the first several minutes of a phone call on random chit-chat before getting into the real reason for the call. She recalls a time when she started a phone conversation with a friend in her typical “Southern California style.” After briefly asking the recipient of the call how she was, Rebecca immediately launched into, “The reason I’m calling is…” and got right to the point of the phone call.

After the call had ended, her friend called her back to see “if anything was wrong” and if Rebecca was mad at her. Why? Because Rebecca spent too little time on idle chit-chat.

This cultural aspect of the town made phone calls even more draining. Regardless of where you live, at least some small talk is almost guaranteed to be a part of any phone conversation.

Reason #2: You can’t read body language.

It’s impossible to gauge the subtle nuances of a conversation while you’re on the phone. Since 90 percent of our conversation is done on the nonverbal level, it’s easy to miss important cues. Perhaps the other person is bored or dislikes what you’re saying, but you often don’t see that because there are no physical signals to pick up on. Overall, all of this can be exasperating to someone (like your average introvert) who doesn’t like phone conversations in the first place.

Reason #3: Phone conversations are often inconvenient.

For many of us, phone calls often seem like an intrusion that interrupts the flow of whatever we’re doing at the time.

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