Confessions from a Hotel by Timothy Lea

Author:Timothy Lea
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780007544523
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2013-10-24T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SIX

‘Hey, you. Where can I find Noggett?’

It is a week after the Beechams have left–he looking a bit worse than when he went into hospital; God knows what she was doing to the poor old sod–and I am standing in for Sandra who is having a bash on the tennis court–or more likely–in the long grass behind it! Every time she comes back she is covered in burrs. Everywhere but on her knickers, as I found out once when she bent down. Funny, that.

The bloke who is addressing me is about my age and has shoulder-length hair worn over the collar of his smart suit. He is carrying a pig-skin attaché case. Apart from his manner I don’t like his shifty eyes which are darting round the foyer as if trying to memorise every feature.

‘Do you mean “Mr Noggett”?’ I say primly.

‘There’s only one, isn’t there?’ The tone is only slightly less than a snarl.

‘I’ll see if he is available. Who shall I say wants to see him?’

‘Edward Rigby.’ The bloke is now tapping the walls. ‘And hurry up, will you? I’m a busy man. I haven’t got time to hang around this morgue.’

When I find Sidney he is in Miss Ruperts’ office cocking his little finger over a cup of tea.

‘Miss Ruperts has surpassed herself,’ he pipes. ‘The Pendulum Society are going to hold their convention here. Every room in the hotel booked Friday to Sunday. Isn’t she a clever girl?’

Sidney coming the smarmer makes me want to puke, but I manage to control myself. ‘Great,’ I say. ‘There’s a nasty looking Herbert in the foyer who wants to speak to you. He didn’t say what it was about.’

‘Oh, well, better see him, I suppose.’

I notice, as we leave, that Miss Ruperts has a bottle of brandy under the tea cosy. She does not change.

When we get into the foyer, Rigby looks Sid up and down like he is measuring him for a coffin.

‘Mr Noggett?’

‘That’s right. What can I do for you?’

‘I’d like to have a few words with you–in private.’

He looks at me like I came off the bottom of his shoe after a walk around Battersea Dogs’ Home.

‘Mr Lea is my personal assistant. You can speak freely in front of him.’

Blimey! It is a long time since Sidney referred to me like that. He must obviously find this cove as unlovable as I do.

Rigby shrugs and we go into Sid’s office.

‘Let me come to the point at once,’ says Rigby, hardly waiting till his arse has hit the chair before he starts speaking. ‘I’ve come round here to offer you a fair price for this place. I’m in property and I want to develop this site. I’ve bought the freeholds on either side of you and I hope we can come to a sensible arrangement.’

‘What if we can’t?’ says Sid.

‘I don’t think there’s a lot of alternative. I’m going to start demolishing both the buildings on either side of you in a few weeks and I’ll be surprised if that does anything for your business–if you have any.

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