By Some Miracle I Made It Out of There by Tom Sizemore

Author:Tom Sizemore [Sizemore, Tom]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 5

HEIDI

FOR A LONG time, I walked around in a constant state of depression. “Walking around” is actually overstating matters: for nearly a month, I was too depressed to even leave my house. And once I could, I was very much the walking wounded: I wasn’t dissolving into tears every second but I was in active pain and looking for any way possible to escape it.

Near the end of January 2001, I found a way. I had met Heidi Fleiss years earlier, in the late 1980s, when she was around the whole Hollywood scene, before she was arrested. Crazy as it may sound, I’d actually always had something of a crush on her. She was really pretty then, as well as funny, smart, and sassy—not remotely what she seems like today. That January night I had been at a barbecue with Jeff Greene, a very successful real estate developer who hung around with a bunch of celebrities. I knew he was friends with Heidi, so I told him that he should call her and have her meet us at Las Palmas, a club that was big at the time. So he called her and invited her out, and when she pulled up outside in her Ford Explorer, I jumped out of Jeff’s car and into hers. She was shocked and asked me what the hell I was doing. I just said, “All I want is three weeks of your undivided time.” She laughed and said, “I have three hours.” Then she looked at me and asked, “What the hell do you want with me anyway? I’m every man’s nightmare.” I said, “Well, haven’t you heard? I’m a nightmare, too.”

The flip side of my depression has always been excitement: if I could get excited about something, all the sad feelings that were crippling me would fall away. And, partly because of who she was and partly because of what she represented, Heidi Fleiss seemed exciting to me. That night, we went into Las Palmas and partied with Hugh Hefner and a whole bunch of rock stars. Heidi and I got a table, had drinks, and flirted, and different people were coming and going from our table there all night. I ended up inviting a whole bunch of them over to my house afterward to continue the party, but you never really know with those kinds of things who’s going to show. I asked Heidi for a ride home from Las Palmas, and when we got to my place, I invited her inside. As I was giving her a tour, all these people suddenly descended on my house—somewhere around two hundred people, including some of Heidi’s former girls. It turned into a crazy night.

Looking back, I believe I thought my depression had lifted but in fact it had just been replaced by something far more dangerous. And if I’d known what crystal meth was going to do to me, I never would have tried it.

Of course, crystal affects people differently, but the way it affected me is by making me want to have sex with every woman on earth.

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