Building Your Band of Brothers by Stephen Mansfield

Author:Stephen Mansfield [Stephen Mansfield]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: -
Publisher: Blackwatch Digital
Published: 2018-05-09T00:00:00+00:00

This indirect connection among men usually leads to friendship. Yet a group of friends isn’t a band of brothers yet. What usually takes friendships to the next level is when one man honors the exceptional gifts of another man and makes this honor part of the meaning of the friendship.

I’ve always loved the words that the seer Samuel wrote when he was describing how Jonathan, the son of King Saul, saw the greatness in David and honored him. Samuel wrote, "After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.”4

David had just killed Goliath, showing exceptional courage and skill. Jonathan loved what he saw in David’s life. His ferocity. His passion for Israel. His bravery. His martial skill. Jonathan had to have the friendship of this man. So, he "became one in spirit” with David. Jonathan honored David and made honor a feature of the friendship between the two men.

This is how it works. Two men are friends. One of them wants to take the friendship to a deeper, more fulfilling level. So, he turns to his friend and says, "You know, you are in great shape. I admire that. The discipline. The strength. I really respect you for it. Tell me, where did you get your devotion to working out and eating right?”

Now, this expression of honor takes some humility. Most men are too busy trying to impress each other for one of them to honor the other. Yet when one man honors another truthfully and genuinely, it says some important things. First, it says, "I see you. I can tell what kind of man you are. I respect you.” Second, it says, "You’ve got gifts I don’t have. I’m impressed. I like that we’re different. What you are is meaningful to me.” Finally, there is an assumed invitation: "Teach me. I want to draw from the good in your life. Let’s make this friendship, in part, about helping each other be better.”

The extension of honor makes a friendship that has largely been about shared enjoyments into a friendship that is also about shared purpose. This may be a subtle shift but once it happens it lays the foundation for all that comes afterward—two or more men spurring each other on to be better men.

That’s the turn. That’s the beginning. Honor becomes the basis for friendship, for fun, and for achieving together.

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