Bringing Your Learning Community to Life by Kaagan Stephen S.;Headley Linda L.; & Linda Headley

Author:Kaagan, Stephen S.;Headley, Linda L.; & Linda Headley
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 1993292
Publisher: Corwin Press
Published: 2010-02-10T00:00:00+00:00

Small Move 4: Show fundamental respect by deferring to a colleague during discussion

When working with groups to establish operating norms, people always cite the need for mutual respect. When this happens, we ask straightaway, “Does this mean there is a lack of respect now, and if so, how is that lack displayed?” As mentioned above, disrespect is sometimes shown in how meetings are conducted, but it also is evident in the ways group members interact with each other—in particular the need for some to always win, be heard, or be right.

One small way to begin showing mutual respect in a group is to defer to another speaker even when you are about to utter the first words of your own comment. We suggest that practicing this simple form of deference will reinforce the need for people to allow others to make contributions to the conversation. It is a small gesture, certainly, but when it occurs in a discussion, it can be profound because it demonstrates that you value others’ opinions as much as your own. If you let it happen more than once in every one of your discussions, you will begin to see how showing deference triggers other gestures of mutual respect.

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