Brain Hacks by Phd Lara Honos-Webb

Author:Phd Lara Honos-Webb [Lara Honos-Webb, Phd]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Althea Press
Published: 2018-01-25T05:00:00+00:00

STOP APPROVAL-SEEKING

Psychologists use the term approval-seeking to describe making decisions based on what other people think. It can be as small as choosing your clothing to fit in with a group instead of expressing your own style. It can be as big as taking an impressive job rather than a lower-paying job that’s more aligned with your talents and interests. If you value others’ approval over your own, you won’t be able to discover what you love, where you want to live, what sort of career you would thrive in, and so on.

Unfortunately, many of us are controlled by our fears of what others will think of us. It may be that the solution to a problem requires you to take actions that others would argue with, disapprove of, or otherwise discourage. Start noticing your fears about how things look to others. When you notice them, you have the choice to move beyond them. Then, loosen up new viewpoints by shifting from “What do others want me to do?” and “What will others think of what I do?” to “What do I really want to do?” This opens up a whole new perspective.

exercise

FIND YOUR INNER COMPASS

Bring to mind a choice you have to make either soon or in the future. If you’re not currently facing a choice, make one up that is likely to occur. Jot it down in your journal or notebook. Below that, list all the possible options. Then, write out your answers to these questions:

What would my partner or closest friend recommend I choose?

What would my parents recommend I choose?

What would my friends recommend I choose?

What would other significant people in my life recommend I choose?

What would I like to choose?

Finding your inner compass doesn’t mean you have to defy what others think you should do. They might actually have good ideas that you agree with. However, if you still feel stuck making a choice, consider consulting with a coach, therapist, or an expert in the field associated with your decision.

tip

Career Selection

Give yourself permission to try out new jobs if you’re not thriving in your current workplace. In a post called “How to Pick a Career (That Actually Fits You),” on the blog WaitButWhy.com, Tim Urban likens the concept of having a lifelong career to entering a tunnel that you don’t leave until 40 years later. Who wants to stay in a tunnel, especially if it’s dark and dreary? There’s no need to feel like you must stay put. Maybe you can put in for a promotion, ask for a transfer, or launch a job search while you’re in the job you have now.

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