Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud; John Townsend

Author:Henry Cloud; John Townsend
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2012-01-03T16:45:08+00:00

Part Three

Solving Dating Problems:

When You’re Part of the Problem

Chapter 10

Adapt Now, Pay Later

To put it mildly, Keri was star-struck. She had a feeling when she met Steve that he was different. “Handsome, successful, spiritual, loves kids” could have been his personal ad. He was everything that she had been looking for, and she could not believe that “God had brought him” into her life. She was floating on clouds.

When they went on their first date, she liked how he took control. He had the evening completely planned out and seemed to take care of every detail. It gave her such a secure feeling just to be around someone who was so in charge. As the evening went on, she could tell that this was not just another someone, but the kind of person that she wanted to get to know better. That night when he dropped her off, she felt tingly inside.

It surprised her when he called the next morning. “I had a great time last night. Let's do it again this afternoon,” he said.

There was that “in charge” thing again, and she liked it just as much the next day as the first night. “Sure. What do you want to do?” she asked.

“I have some tickets to the game and we could do dinner afterwards. Pick you up at noon,” Steve told her.

Hesitating a bit, Keri nevertheless said, “I'll be ready.” She hung up the phone, surprised at how quickly she had said yes, for she knew that she had plans for dinner with some friends. But how could she refuse? She did not want to give him the wrong signal, that she was not interested. Besides, her friends would understand. After all, they would probably go out and talk about how difficult it had been lately to find quality guys, and she thought it would make a lot more sense to go out with one than to talk about it. So she called and let them know.

When Steve picked her up, they seemed to click all over again.

They had a great afternoon and then were on their way to dinner when he asked, “How about Chinese food? I know a great place near here.”

“Sounds great,” Keri said. Inside, she cringed. She hated Chinese food with a passion, kidded her friends when they ate it, and had all sorts of derogatory names for it. But, after all, she did not want to argue about something so small. Nor did she want to ruin the evening when, after dinner, Steve suggested that they go for a walk around the lake. Dead tired, and with an early appointment the next morning, Keri agreed. She dared not say no.

Little did Keri know that this was a foreshadowing of what was to come. Over time, she began to notice that every time Steve suggested something, she complied. She was jelly in his hands. Falling in love day by day, she was interested only in being with him, and whatever he liked or wanted to do was fine as long as they were together.

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