Blood Song by Kara Sharpe

Author:Kara Sharpe [Sharpe, Kara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-01-31T16:00:00+00:00

14

ELIJAH

Another stretch of time alone in Finn’s bunk that day meant another opportunity to wallow in bitter self-recrimination, trapped with his own thoughts by the bright and cheerful daylight outside.

Elijah had never felt the simple limitations of vampirism like this before. Time spent with Finn was introducing him to the bad elements of his condition, as well as the good, in all kinds of ways that Elijah had never considered before.

This time, his self-flagellation centered largely on how open and honest he’d been about his own past when talking to Finn. He shouldn’t have talked about all that, especially not with someone as clearly bad news as Finn.

Elijah had learned very early on in his life as a vampire that regret was a bad idea. It was too easy to get caught up in thoughts about mistakes he’d made, and the burden of those mistakes would only grow heavier with the years. Immortality offered a lot of opportunities to screw up. He wasn’t all that good at following his own advice, but he tried his best to save his regrets for the worst of his errors, at least.

If someone else was hurt by something Elijah had done, then the guilt was worth retaining, but if the mistake had damaged his own pride more than anything else then it was probably better to just let it go.

So he was trying not to be too cross at himself for revealing so much about his past to Finn. It had been a mistake to do it, but a largely victimless mistake. It hadn’t hurt anyone to tell Finn about the things that had happened with Elijah’s human family, it just hadn’t been a very good idea.

Anything that strengthened his connection to Finn was a bad idea, and revealing old sorrows like that was guaranteed to make Elijah feel a little closer to the man he’d revealed them to.

Eventually Finn and Jessica climbed aboard the bus as well, and it rumbled on towards its next location.

Elijah could smell the cloying, sour edge of drugs in Jessica’s scent, like an acrid thread winding its way through the soft human warmth of her, a discordant note in her personal melody.

It was bad stuff, much more malevolent and intense than the usual background hum of illicit substances that Elijah was typically aware of when he was around rock musicians for any length of time.

The drugs that Jessica had taken at some point in the recent past were the kind of things that no vampire would have allowed their human to go anywhere near. Elijah couldn’t help the slight pang of pain that accompanied that thought, the wistfulness at the idea of being able to save Jessica from herself.

But that was the point, wasn’t it? They weren’t his humans. They didn’t want saving, and he didn’t want the terrifying responsibility of playing such an involved role in anyone’s life, especially not anyone as fragile and fractured as Jessica and Finn.

That was absolutely a path to unavoidable regret.

No, Elijah never wanted to share his life with humans, no matter what the circumstances.

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