Believe in Me by Lucy Neave

Author:Lucy Neave
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: University of Queensland Press
Published: 2021-07-15T04:51:34+00:00

20

Outside, it’s raining. Sarah has no umbrella. It’s not cold; she can walk home from work in the rain then hang her wet dress in front of the open window in her room. She imagines the raindrops on her face, and running until she’s breathless, as if she’s sixteen again and impractical, not always having to worry about time, about cooking dinner and putting her daughter – best not to think my name – to bed.

She’s drawing the blinds for the night when Dr Ramirez emerges from the consultation room. He wears a wedding ring; he’s probably forty. He stands behind the counter and says that she’s doing an excellent job. By now, she’s been working for him and Dr Mukherjee for almost three weeks.

‘How are you finding Sydney?’ he says. ‘We emigrated from Chile only five years ago. I remember what it’s like.’

Sarah nods, says something about how she loves the city. Actually, she hardly goes anywhere, although on Sunday she walked to the Queen Victoria Building and back and looked in the shop windows and at statues. Walking is cheap.

They exit through the back door, which Dr Ramirez locks and checks. They stand for a moment under the eaves. It’s raining more heavily now.

Dr Ramirez says, ‘Can I drive you home?’

Sarah says quickly, ‘I’m fine.’

He’s watching her. His eyes are wide and dark. In this light, his skin looks very smooth. The rain falls in a dense curtain. It’s spilling over the gutters and the shelter provided by the eaves is meagre. The drops are colder than Sarah expected.

‘Come on,’ Dr Ramirez says. He unlocks the car, then holds open the passenger door for my mother.

He has a large black car. There’s as much in her scrapbook about the car and how soft the seat is as there is about the man. Thunder rolls overhead. Her notes say that Dr Manuel Ramirez is good, gentle, a doctor. He asks if she’s comfortable, perhaps sensing that she’s not. They sit for a while, the doors closed, the windows shut tight, and wait for the rain to ease.

‘Should I drive you home?’ Dr Ramirez says, again.

Sarah nods. It’s not far. Silence fills the space between them, then Dr Ramirez presses a tape into the car’s player. Once the music begins, he says, ‘The violins. Don’t you think that their voices are almost human?’

To her, the violins’ song is distinct from any human noise. Instead, they sound powerfully strange in their precise harmonies, patterns and repetitions. She says that the music is the most beautiful thing she’s ever heard. This isn’t true; she’s trying to ingratiate herself.

The car travels Glebe Point Road like water flowing over stones. She’s meant to direct him, but the rain is still falling hard and it’s difficult to see. She enjoys the view from the window, the sense of being able to observe the weather from the comfort of inside. They miss the boarding house and end up at Blackwattle Bay. As Dr Ramirez turns the car around it begins to hail.

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